Ashes to Ashes: Commentary of a FirstTime Viewer
by coderiku
Summary: *COMPLETE!* My name is Emily, and I'm watching A2A for the first time. Will I love it, hate it, or want to run off with Gene Hunt and marry him during the experience? /Rated T for occasional swearing from myself and silly nonsense from this show.
1. S1 E1

**EDIT: In case you're reading this for the first time, I like Alex now |D Just sayin'. OH and 100 plus reviews guys, THANK YOU SO MUCH.**

**A/N: I love LoM. And Gene Hunt. So decided "Hey! I should watch Ashes to Ashes!"**

**I'm not sure if this was a good idea anymore.**

**Best read right after watching the episode, though if you've seen it at least once it should make some sense...**

**THIS IS ALL FOR FUN GUYS! So please don't flame me. Maybe I'll actually LIKE Alex by the end...**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! I want to know what you think!**

_Epiosde 1:...In which I try to keep an open mind. And fail miserably._

Okay let's keep an open mind about this Emily- UPSIDE DOWN VIEW IS TRIPPY.

Oh god, this girl's voice is annoying the shit out of me D:

A blackberry? Holy shit girl, you're like what, 12? I'm 15 and I just upgraded my flip phone DX

OH GOD THEY'RE MENTIONING SAM NONONONO ;A;

Oi, don't swear in front of your kids! Or, are they your kids? I'm not sure...

"SUICIDE" OH GOD NOT AGAIN *bursts into tears*

Man, this chick is calm. Can't say the same for the asian lady though who's freaking the fuck out.

Oh, great, it's her kid. This is why you don't bring them to crime scene. OR THEY DIE. OR SOMETHING. I'M NOT SURE YET.

Trippy song is trippy O_o

When Alex is screaming "hold your fire!" her face seriously does not match her voice. Her face is like "Calm and serenity" and her voice is like "HOLY FUCK GUYZ OH GOD NO WHUT I DON'T EVEN-"

Wait, I'm confused, if the guy killed himself then why did he bother to run off with the kid in the first place?

OH GOD THERE'S A PEDO WATCHING THEM- oh wait she knows him, phew.

But I want cake too! D8 Dicks.

Oh god it's the trippy song ag-HOLY FUCK WHERE DID HE COME FROM.

So wait... He didn't kill himself then? Why was a shot fired earlier?

Oh look, he's made a little nest for Alex ,that's nice.

Talking, talking, talki-DEAD.

That was the most anti-climatic death ever lol

It's a flying saucer!...Oh nevermind it's a bullet...

Oh god it's getting trippy-OH SHIT IT'S CRAZY MIME.

Aaaand she wakes up. All done up. In a dress. And make-up. I AM CONFUZZLED.

She also looks nothing like herself. It's really weird.

I'm thinking I definitely prefer the LoM opening. "Help me I've been shot!" Don't you think you would've noticed by now that you HAVEN'T been shot?

EPIC CAR+EPIC MUSIC+GENE HUNT=FUCKING WIN

Lmao this is so cheesy. Alex is like "lol whut it's Sam's hallucinations" and they're like "...'sup" And the music is like "THIS IS A TOTALLY AMAZING MOMENT GUYZ"

And they just keep beating that other guy up in the background lololol

"Gene Hunt! *faints" "My reputation precedes me" And Gene's back for another episode of "Everything that comes out of my mouth is such pure fucking win that you will want to quote this whole damn episode because I'm so awesome"

"She's gonna break into song!" Thank you for reading my mind, Gene.

Oh god, and the other two are just in background like "UNF YES"

WELL IT DID HAPPEN, ALRIGHT? Jeez.

Fffff I want to be Alex right after she almost walks into that car. OH GOD WAIT ARE THEY GOING TO MAKE A BLOSSOMING RELATIONSHIP WITH ALEX AND GENE? D8

Gene is somehow still managing to look manly even while carrying someone like in a Disney movie. That takes some serious skills.

The camera people are trying to make everything all confusing like in LoM again. It's not working.

Holy shit, they've got a computer! A really old shitty one though! Alex's acting is not helping whatsoever! And I can't take her seriously with thatdamn coat!

"Pong! We've got PONG!" Old school games ftw.

Oh God, Alex is in the place half the fanbase of A2A and LoM fangirls (Gene Hunt specifically) would kill to be in. CAN'T... BREATHE... DUE TO... LAUGHTER...

Poor Gene XD He's just like "...Get up..."

OH GOD MUPPET OUT OF NOWHERE WHAT.

She actually WANTS the tv to talk to her. Someone's desperate.

She hates Gene already? Wow, that was quick. He's not even as much of a dick this time around.

OH GOD STOP MENTIONING SAM I SWEAR I'M GOING TO BURST INTO TEARS AGAIN.

"You put in for it" *DRAMATIC MUSIC AND HEAD SWEEP*

"I'm bigger in every department" lolololol

Ahahaha Gene stepping on Ray's foot=priceless. And what a completely non-fake cover-up.

*insert epic '80s music here* *insert annoying character after and hope for the best* *insert awesome character afterwards to make up for it*

Oh yes, all of that's VERY advanced Chris. THE WORLD OF TOMORROW, OOOOO~

And the music becomes epic the moment Gene starts talking on the phone. OH YES.

This possible-drug dealer guy is a DICKWAD. That is all.

Lmao Gene's like "...*insert death glare here*" while the possible-drug dealer guy walks away. The score is now: Gene-1 billion, and PDD guy- negative 6.

WHOA, alright calm down there Alex. Destroying the "TECHNOLOGY OF TOMORROW, OOOO~" will get you nowhere, I assure you.

Oh shit, she's cracked.

Lololol He just grabbed her boob *is acting like a 12-year old boy now*

"Are you gonna kiss me or punch me?" I'll kiss you Gene! *waves hand wildly*

OH GOD IT'S GONNA GO TRIPPY AGAIN- Oh nevermind, it's just a wall.

...Who is she talking to? It can't be Chris and that bob-cut girl...

Aright, so she IS talking to them.

This is a really odd scene.

YAY STAR WARS REFERENCE. Chris is even more awesome now.

"Where does that leave me?" "DEAD." Okayyyy, that is really creepy, not gonna lie.

OHSHIT IT'S THE MUPPET AGAIN.

"You're going to miss my birthday!" Too bad, mummy's stuck in the '80s with a man who's "bigger in every department". I don't think she's coming back anytime soon.

HOLY SHIT IT'S THE MIME AGAIN. That actually really terrified me.

Wow, that's actually a pretty smart deduction there, Alex. Maybe she'll actually grow on me 8'D

I TAKE IT BACK SHE'S BEING A BITCH TO CHRIS NOW.

Okay, I think she's taking this a little overboard, honestly, the guy doesn't look like he's the one who did it...

"I plan to talk turkey" "Gobble away" Gene, you're seriously the best.

OH NOOOOOO NOT SAM TALK AGAIN.

Ugh, you're back after Layton AGAIN? Just give UP.

...Please don't tell me that was the scary mime that just walked past. PLEASE.

OH GOD IT WAS.

This scene is actually really funny if you watch it without music. It's just like Random Mime: IMA EATCHOO *flails* Then Alex: AHJGJRHGDGHGKJTCV *spazzes*

Awww, Gene's sitting all by himself D8

Wait, what's up with the slow-mo and the 80s music again? This better not be a regular occurrence :P

...GodDAMN I am jealous of Alex. Just cozying up there with Gene *desperately continues to try to keep an open mind* ADSGFHJGFJ IT'S NOT WORKING.

...Gene had a WIFE?

...Wait, Gene's single?

...*attempts to stop brain from creating an OC that will surely get me flamed for creating*

"Well you're not gonna be keeping me here for 7 years. I'm going home" Well thank god for THAT then.

Lmao Gene says this epic speech and Alex is just like "...hgfhff"

Oh man, THEY'RE SO DRUNK IT'S SOMEHOW ADORABLE. And Gene's just there trying to do some work lol Good luck, mate.

Bahahaha, Chris punching that gorilla-type man. That was a fail.

This show is so full of completely cheesy moments. I mean epic swooning music in the background, dramatic camera angle and then BAM: Gene Hunt.

Okay, now THIS is what I was looking for. The car intro and rock music.

"Oh I could kiss you!" "Don't hold back!" NO. HOLD BACK. PLEASE.

That awkward moment when you realize that Alex WAS right about Layton.

Oh SMOOTH Chris. Just jump in front of the drug-dealers who've got loads of guns on them why don't you?

"Even I can't walk on water!" Pfft, that's a first. Considering how damn awesome you are I mean.

Okay, that is literally the most epic moment ever. Gene Hunt speeding in on a motor boat while wearing sunglasses and having Chris and Ray on either side. This is the definition of badass.

"HE'S UNDER ARREST!" Okay, I get it! Calm down!

Awww, Sharon and Chris' hug at the end is actually really cute :D

"I'm not nervous. I'm just cautious." I LOVE you, Chris.

OHOHOHO I SENSE SOME FORSHADOWING HERE.

I'm really getting sick of this damn mime, and it's only episode 1. HOW MUCH MORE MUST I ENDURE? D8

Okay, so maybe I'll be able to get used to Alex, her little speech in the mirror was actually quite good... YAY MORE 80s MUSIC AND EPIC SWOOPING OF THE CAMERA THAT SEEMS TO BE VERY FOND OF GENE'S BODY IN GENERAL.

Aaaand once again a Sam reference. WILL THE SADNESS NEVER END?

So wait, instead of having a Jamaican barman it's an Italian one for this series? BRING IT ON.

Oh god, the credits are just like an 80s computer, niiiice.

Gotta love the 80s.

And Gene 8D


	2. S1 E2

**A/N: Guess who's finally starting to like Alex? 8D**

**Don't forget to review!**

_Episode 2: ...In which I see way too much ass and sex then my mind can handle. And laugh like the 12-year-old boy I secretly am inside._

Oooo, "PREVIOUSLY" time 8D OH GOD THEY SHOWED SAM AGAIN I THOUGHT IT HAD STOPPED.

Is it weird that I'm excited for the title sequence? I have a feeling it is...

Hahahaha, yes! Old school BBC, gotta love it.

Oh dear, the tv's talking to her again- And it's not fazing her at all. That is _weird._

TITLE SEQUENCE, YES. COMPLETE WITH GENEROUS SHOTS OF GENE-_OH GOD NO IT'S THE MIME_

Bahaha, love the end of it, Alex and Gene walking in looking like BAMFs

Alex, that was a rather rude thing to say. What if I called YOU an imaginary constract, huh? HUH?

Wow, busy? At a police station? Noooo, Alex, that's just unheard of.

YAY GENE. His entrances are always the best, even if it wasn't intended. He's just too awesome.

...Why didn't Gene burst through the boxes? I'M CONFUZZLED AGAIN. SINCE WHEN HAS HE BEEN SUCH A LAW ABIDING CITIZEN?

Lol, and the box guy is just like "YES YES YES- FOR ONCE NO ONE KNOCKED THESE DOWN!"

Gene seems to have the idea that breaking down a door will solve all his problems. I should do that too- bad grades? Break the doors down! Dead cat? Break the doors down! Unwashed laundry? BREAK THE FUCKING DOORS DOWN.

"What's happening in there?" "SHUT UP" Ah, always there to inform the public, eh Gene?

Pffft, Alex's smug look is priceless.

GENE IS HAVING TEA AND CRUMPETS. That does not boost his masculinity at all. Yet it looks awesomely adorable when he's eating them. It's strange. Not that I'm complaining.

...Okay, I can't stop getting distracted by him eating, this is getting silly now, I have no clue what the people in the back are talking about.

Talking, talking, talk-DENIED.

I feel like Gene is making that stamping thing up... Or really, I'm hoping he's making it up *does not want to see Alex's ass*

Lol it appears Gene and I are on the same page about the Alex-ass-viewing.

This show is always interesting for me because I usually have no damn clue when it comes to connections to the past, because I'm Canadian. So the exploding dog thing... Was interesting. To say the least.

"Can I come please?" NO. DON'T.

Ah, good she didn't co-HOLY SHIT NEVERMIND, I SEE WHY NOW LOLOLOL

Oh, nevermind she did come. Damn.

"Is this really necessary?" Yes. Yes it is.

Oh GOD, Alex's expressions are killing me. AND THE GUY ON THE BILLARDS TABLE LOLOLOL

Ah, a note. That's spelled terribly. *eye twitches*

They don't ACTUALLY blow up Bobby Moor, do they?

Ohhh, okay, it's DANNY moor.

Pftt, what's with the music they're playing when he shows up?

Gene's like "STOP FLIRTING" Also "BUTTON UP YOUR SHIRT DANNY" Actually, that last one was me.

Look Alex, I don't see why you wouldn't want to be stuck in a world with Gene Hunt. I'll take your place if you don't stop complaining.

And once again, we're back on the subject of Alex's ass. PLEASE DON'T LET IT COME TO THIS.

Wow, Chris doesn't know what an apostrophe is? That's a little sad.

Why on earth are they finding Danny attractive? WHY?

Once again, Gene and I are on the same page. Except, he seems more like he wants to rip Danny's balls off than just being unable to figure out why all the girl's find him attractive.

Oh yes, just run off with the creepy man Alex, that's a smart idea.

OMG IT'S A DOLORIUM 8D

Aaaand, the lovely (Read: creepy) car date is ruined by an alarm clock.

BOMB. I MEANT BOMB.

Wait. Did she just blow up? Isn't that the same blowing up car we've been seeing on tv for the past while? AND ISN'T THAT THE CREEPY MIME? D8

Oh, okay she's not dead. Wow, this guy is not fazed in the slightest. And is sounding REALLY fake. And creepy.

Aw, poor Alex ): I actually feel bad for her right now, she seems so freaked out...

Please don't tell this guy ACTUALLY thinks he's immortal. At least he's not as creepy now.

WHOA, what is up with this guy's mohawk here? It looks like he had to skin a porcupine to get it that spiky.

LOLOLOL IS THAT CHRIS?

OMG IT IS.

THIS IS SO WEIRD. HE LOOKS SO DIFF-_could you please stop with the fucking mime?_

Alex's kiss was actually cute for a moment until the two of them started to EAT EACH OTHER'S FACES.

"I'll let you stamp my bum" "...Get in the car" OH GOD NO, DON'T DO THIS TO ME GENE.

Aaaand she's wearing the fur coat again. I can't take her seriously in it. I just can't.

Lololol "Are you wearing make-up?" "NO"

And now Sharon's mentioning his eyeliner to Ray. Ah, I love this show.

...I dunno, I kinda feel like the kid couldn't _actually _blow up anything. He doesn't look organized enough.

"Now we _know_ you're liar!" I quite agree with you there Gene, that music is like a drunk llama trying to attempt screamo.

...Oh my god don't tell me they're actually going to do this.

OH GOD.

I THINK THEY ARE.

"Will you PLEASE just stamp my ass?" OH MY GOD. I CAN'T BREATHE DUE TO LAUGHTER. THIS SCENE JUST GOT A WHOLE LOT MORE HILARIOUSLY AWKWARD.

"And _you_ are a rude bitch" Cat fight, WOO.

Oh, it appears they're friends now. Girl-bonding, WOO.

Okay Alex. I understand you want to know your mother's opinion on you, but you're being SEVERLY creepy, I'm not even joking around. This is almost as creepy as when Sam looked around for his own parents. At least he knew how to cover it up.

WHOA. Poor Alex. Again. Her mom completely hates her.

Elevator music actually exists?

OH GOD IT'S THE FUR COAT AGAIN- _Please_ stop wearing that Alex. I CANNOT TAKE YOU SERIOUSLY.

Okay, now Alex hates her mom. And is talking to herself. She's cracked. Again, somehow.

OH MY GOD IT'S A SEX SCENE, AVERT EYES, NOWNOWNOWNOWNOW.

I have the EXACT same expression on as Alex, I'd just like to mention.

Oh my god, THE DOOR KEEPS CLOSING. I can't tell whether I should be terrified or laughing my ass off. Because I'm doing both.

Ah, Gene. Thank god you're here. You can clear my mind of the awkward scene I just witnessed. WITH YOUR GLORIOUS FACE AND ANNOYING INSULTS.

"I want a bottle of your ridiculously overpriced fizzy water" The sad thing is that this is STILL true.

The Jean Genie, haven't heard THAT in awhile.

Aha, that was adorable. Alex is like "I want some wiiinnne" and Gene's just like "NU. LISTEN TO ME"

Aaaand, RANDOM CLOSE-UP ON FRYING PAN. OOOOOO~

Ah, the "Love" aspect. Who are you, Dumbledore? Dumbledore is the only person in my books who can talk about love and still be cool. Not you Alex.

EEEE OMG IT'S THOSE PINK WAFERS. I *love* PINK WAFERS.

OMG. Congo line complete with Gene Hunt? Yes please.

...Why is the creepy music playing again?

Don't tell me the mime is going to show up again. PLEASE OH PLEASE.

Oh phew, it's someone planting a bomb.

Actually, that sounded really bad, didn't it?

And once again, you're being overly creepy around your mom Alex.

Alex rooms over the Bar? AND IT'S CALLED LUIGI'S?

"Trousers down!" I had a split second to decide on whether I wanted to avert my eyes from this sight. I was thoroughly glad I didn't.

AND YAY 80s COMPUTER CREDITS AGAIN.

**A/N: Just wondering, but did anyone else realize that Ashes to Ashes, Jean Genie, and Life on Mars are all songs by David Bowie? It blew my mind.**


	3. S1 E3

**A/N: Thank you all for the lovely reviews! ;A; I'm crying tears of joy, seriously. Also, I just read the summary for episode three, and there is something about rape involved in this plot. OH GOD I'M SCARED ALREADY, I DON'T WANNA SEE ANOTHER SEX SCENE D'8**

_...In which I lol thoroughly over the gnomes._

And YAY it's the "Previously" section with the ass-stamping part, and the OH GOD MIME.

Holy CRAP where did Molly come from? How the hell is Alex managing to stay calm?

WHOA, talk about a quiet-to-really fucking loud transition.

FFFF THERE IS GRAFITTI IN THE BACKROUND DEPICTING A POTATOE. YES.

Dammit, Chris is eating nachos I'M HUNGRY NOW

Bahaha, take THAT Chris, nachos in the face. That'll teach you for _eating in front of me_

"Stand still!" Or don't, y'know, that works too.

Gnomes! I love gnomes! They're so- Oh shit nevermind they're full of drugs. I don't want them anymore :/

Ah, what a lovely scene: multiple gnomes drowning in a river. That should be in the papers "TERRIBLE TRADGEDY IN GNOMETOWN TODAY, MANY LOST IN THE DE-GNOMING". Or something.

Lololol Ray in the back is amusing himself so much with the gnome, it's adorable.

Ray/Gnome is my new OTP

YAY TITLES SEQUENCE. *only watches the bits with Gene and then skips the rest*

"She's scared of you. Can't say I blame her." Pfft, Gene I do believe you've just been subtly insulted.

"Let's find these a gnome to go to!" I'm drowning in my tears of laughter here Chris. You're a comedic genius you are /end sarcasm

"It's broken? *quickly breaks fishing rod* Yup, you come pick it up here, love." OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU CHRIS.

I mean, he's just sitting there, SURROUNDED by gnomes. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

Don't worry Gene, I assumed she meant a hotel suite as well. Because I'm thick like that.

"Blimey, it _was_ dark" Gene, you're such a dick. Yet I still laughed. I feel awful and yet uncaring at the same time.

Gene's just like "Wait, I DON'T get to see her boob?...Fuck D:"

And BOO YAH SERIOUS-CONVO-IN-THE-HALL-TIME.

This scene is just WAITING for a trippy scene to happen.

You know, one thing I'm FAILING to understand is how Alex had straight blonde hair in 2008 and curly brown hair in the 80s. Seriously, what happened?

Gene is being sensitive. HE'S BEING SENSITIVE. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE? D8

Is it just me or is Ray always wearing the same outfit? I mean, hasn't he got any other clothes? Or does he just have multiple pairs of the same thing like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo?

OOO PINK WAFERS AGAIN, YAY 8D

This serious moment is being completely ruined by the HAPPY GNOMES IN THE CORNER GUYS

"People say I'm cracking up" Y-eahhhhhh they might actually be right y'know.

OHGODOHGODOHGOD IT'S THE MIME AGAIN.

Why is he moving so quickly? OMIGOD DON'T COME ANY CLOSER-AGHHHHHHHH D8

...Wtf was just up with Alex's mom's face there? She looked like she was on crack or something.

Lololol Alex said "suckler" *is acting like a 12-year-old boy again*

...Evan still looks the EXACT SAME. That's really creepy O-o

Alex? Aleeeeex? YOU'RE BEING CREEPY AGAIN. STOP IT.

Yes, give the nice man his hand back, Alex, that's a good girl.

"Hormones. It's always hormones." I didn't know it was possible to love Chris anymore than I did now.

Alex was a PROSTITUTE? *mind blown* *...That sounds odd out of context*

Lolololol Gene is looking SO awkward right now.

Gene, you have just been OWNED.

Also, hate and despise mean the same thing. In case you were wondering.

I think I'm in love with Alex, She OWNS. SO. DAMN. MUCH.

Aaaand, it's time to get wasted guys! I swear to god, it's like, obligatory to get wasted at least once an episode on this show.

"Say it"...Please don't kiss her. PLEASE DON'T KISS HER GENE.

THANK GOD. HE DIDN'T.

Pfft, Sharon, Chris and Ray are like "...D'you guys need at room?" And Alex and that random dude are just like "OM NOM NOMNOM LET US KISS WITH TONGUES"

...I was REALLY hoping that there wasn't going to be sex scene. LOOKS LIKE ALL THAT WISHFUL THINKING WAS FOR NOTHING

The music in the background is not helping. AT ALL.

Phew, it's do-OH MY GOD COULD YOU PLEASE CUT IT OUT WITH THE MIME?

LOL those gnomes. Gotta love 'em. I hope they stick around for the rest of the show XD

"It's not like I've shagged an entire rugby team!" "Bet she has" LOLOLOLOL I LOVE YOU RAY

Pfft, what the hell is up with Gene's "costume"? It looks more like he mugged John Wayne and stole his clothes if you ask me.

OH MY GOD. CHRIS'S SUPERMAN COSTUME. I'M DYING.

...There is a man in the background wearing a fez. I am way too excited for my own good.

"In fact Gene; Just be yourself!" And now the scores are Alex: 500 million and Gene: 12. This episode is most definitely gonna go to Alex.

Jesus Ray, could you be anymore excited that Alex is cozying up to you?

HIS FACE. OH MY GOD I NEED TO MAKE THAT MY NEW ICON .

"Distemper...That wasn't his NAME." You're a lady-killer I tell you Chris.

Um, Gene? Have you ever heard of saying GOODBYE before you hang up? No? Figures.

...Alex. You're SO creepy around everyone you know in the future. Just though I'd tell you.

OMG PINK WAFERS AGAIN, THIS IS THE BEST EPISODE EVER.

Aw, Ray is actually kind of adorable right now. His moustache sort of creeps me out though.

...You are a failure at sock puppets my friend. Even my 6 year old self could make a better one than you.

That guy looks really creepy in the back of the picture. And tall. And he's the only guy.

Aaaand CUE EPIC CAR SCREECH MOMENT.

Ooo, look rope! *is getting much too easily distracted during the intense moment*

"Gene Hunt: Chapter 1 verse two!" I WANT THAT BOOK.

"You want the bad news or the really bad news?" Ummm, I'll take the bad news please.

OMG I didn't even know it was possible for Ray to be so adorable.

*insert Alex looking like a BAMF here*

Lol at Gene smacking his ears :D

OH MY GOD IT'S THE SUSPENDERS GUY ALEX SLEPT WITH 8'D

And Gene looks like he wants to murder him. YES LOL

HOW THE HELL DID RAY SET HIS FINGER ON FIRE WITHOUT IT TURNING TO A CRISP?

Chris is like "B-but... Do I have to? D'8"

"What are we supposed to be celebrating today?" MY BIRTHDAY. YOU ALL OWE ME A CAKE.

Right, I officially love this show. YAY HAPPY MOMENTS.


	4. S1 E4

**A/N: All of the reviews that I've been getting have all been saying "I can't wait to see you watch ep. 4 D" which is making me VERY afraid. But, I suppose I need to get to this... Though I'm terrified.**

_...In which I try to not be converted to Gene/Alex. And fail miserably._

And we're already opening up with an epic entrance by Gene. FFFF YES 3

Ah, look at that windswept hair.

Ooooo the ceiling's mooovviinngggggg~

"Something long, pointy, and heavy" A PENIS. IT WAS A GIANT PENIS.

Does Alex have any other shirts?

"Didn't say it was a hammer" BECAUSE IT WAS PENIS.

Alex, what are you doing stealing evidence from the crime scene? D

'HO SHIT TRIPPY MOMENT TIME

Aw, don't you love play Hide and Seek: Coffin Style?

And look, it's Revenge of the Body Snatchers Part 8: Too many Budget Cutes So We Went With Humans This Time Around

Alex, I'm PRETTY sure they're ignoring you for a REASON.

"STOP! *running at car*" Well it's not like they're going to stop NOW. Not like they're gona go "Oh, okay! Sorry about that, we were just in the middle of stealing this body but y'know what? We're gonna stop now just for you!"

YAY TITLE SEQUENCE

"THANK YOU" "...But I haven't told you yet-" "You interrupted perfectly." ALEX YOU HAVE JUST BEEN DENIED.

Gene is like "FFFF GET ME OUT OF HERE NOW" when he's pushing Chris lol

LMAO THE BARTENDER'S BEING SUCH A CREEPER.

Ewww, Gene's got some code, code's make my brain hurt D8

Bartender: Hmhmhmhmhm *staring at Alex* Alex: ...We're not- Bartender: Of course *continues staring* LOLOLOL LUIGI YOU CREEPER YOU

YEAHHHH, FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FI- Oh nevermind. IT'S NOT ALEX AND GENE YELLING AT EACH OTHER GUYS, FALSE ALARM.

"...Yeah. That." Shaz totally stole their thunder XD

Dawww, it's Alex as kid. With blonde hair. SERIOUSLY WHY IS HER HAIR BROWN HERE?

Dear God her father looks like a nerd.

Alex, please stop reminiscing. IT'S CREEPING YOUR MOM OUT

...Oh my god. Really? You're being just as creepy as Sam as when visited his house. Your old room? What if your shows up? She's gonna be like"... ಠ_ಠ Please get out. Now."

'HO CRAP FOR A MOMENT I THOUGHT THE POSTER IN HER ROOM WAS SOME CREEPER IN THE BACKGROUND.

Ah, I love the scent of creeping in your old room in the morning.

What's I tell you Alex? Now your mom probably thinks you're even creepier now.

...ALEX YOU SOUND LIKE A TOTAL PEDO.

"ooo good. Women." Oh Gene, you silly thing.

Pffft, Ray is just screaming at his witness and Chris is getting relationship advice from his. Those two are so different.

"Do you own a green jumper?" Well that was extremely random of you ಠ_ಠ

Bahahahaha, Ray tripping over the body XD

...Okay, I think Alex is crazier than Sam was when he was here. She's actually treating her hallucinations like they're real. This is severely disturbing for some reason.

That awkward moment when you realize that there's no caller is in the 80s.

Chris and Ray don't seem too bright when it comes to Alex trying to teach them.

"Where are w going?" TO A LAND OF MAGICAL CANDIES AND UNICORNS, ALEX.

OMG. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT RAY AND CHRIS STALKING GENE AND ALEX XD

Ray and Chris would be total shit as James Bond.

I love how they're playing epic music and then Gene just picks up a picture of a girl's ass.

Whoa, is that Alex's mom in those pictures? O_o

Intense moment is intense ಠ_ಠ

Poor Alex, her whole childhood has basically just been ruined D:

Pfft, that woman from earlier's rubbed off on Chris.

Wow, it's been over halfway through the episode and there hasn't been any sign of the mime yet! :D

...I probably just jinxed myself.

Lolol Gene's face. Also, love the way Alex pronounces "moustache" and-WHAT IS THIS INTIMATE-LOOKING MOMENT AT THE SINK, HMMM?  
OH GOD XD Shaz scared the living shit out of Gene there.

And now GENE'S the one hiding evidence? WILL IT EVER END?

OH YES, ANDOTHER EPIC MOMENT WITH GENE FUCKING HUNT, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN.

Alex is creeping everyone at the bar here. She really seems to creep everyone these days.

OMG THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE CREEPING ALEX AND GNE. CREEPERS CREEPING CREEPERS.

Alex is like "PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE HERE" to the bartender lololol

WHOA for a moment I thought Alex was talking to herself and not her tape recorder. I was like "Oh god, she's finally cracked"

...If that creak was from the mime I'm going to kill myself.

OH THANK GOD IT WAS NOTHING.

Lololol It appears that Chris' relationship advice is only sending it spiralling downhill.

Don't you love faking licenses?

THE CREEPERS ARE BACK AGAIN.

INTENSE MOMENT IS INTENSE.

INTENSE MOMENT IS NOT AS INTENSE NOW THAT THEY'RE PLAYING THIS MUSIC.

"Right, let's be quick about this" "Bet you say that to all the girls." Oh god, I love you Alex.

Alex, stop looking back behind yo, it's making it RELLY obvious you're infiltrating this building.

OMG I THINK IT'S THE MIME

...They're stuck in the dark in a small room with no way of getting out. I think I understand why everyone was so excited for me to watch episode 4 D8

Lmao, their faces are priceless when the door makes that noise.

THE GREEN JUMPER COMMENT FINALLY MAKES SENSE NOW.

"Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?"...Oh god. PLEASE DON'T TELL ME THEY'R GONNA BE TAKING OFF THEIR CLOTHES.

Aw, Chris is so cute. "Why can't I be bad cop?"

Chris don't eat the wafers! D: They're for me :D

YEAHHHH GENE YOU TAKE THAT SHIRT OFF.

His eyes totally lit up the moment Alex ended up in her underclothes lolololol

...I'm really trying not to be converted to Gene/Alex. BUT THIS MOMENT IS TOO CUTE. I THINK IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN SOON.

"Gene..." "I know." WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

O.M.G Alex and Gene pretty much flew away from each other the speed of the light there. "NONONONO OF COURSE NOT GUYS WE WEREN'T SHARING AN INTIMATE MOMENT HERE NOPE NOT US DON'T BE SILLY GUYS SERIOUSLY" was pretty much what that conveyed.

Darn, he put his coat back on :C

I'm getting mixed feelings about Alex's relationship with her mother right now... D:

So Gene has had two epic entrances and one epic exit in this episode. :D

THIS MAN LOOKS LIKE THE DEFINITIN OF PEDOPHILE

"So what are you? C or a D-cup?" What a perfect way to end the episode Gene.


	5. S1 E5

**A/N: "****Gene and Alex discover that a notorious pimp and drug dealer has a major firearms deal in the pipeline." Oh my. This is going to be an interesting episode.**

_...In which I lol way too much at Chris' attempt to be gay._

FUUU- My sister's in the room, whatever, keep watching keep watch- OH SHIT THEY SHOWED THE PART WHERE ALEX IS TAKING OFF HER SHIRT.

Thank god, she's gone .

ANYWAY it appears that Alex is on drugs. Or something. Because she's definitely tripping out right now.

WHOA we don't normally see the mime this early in the game. This is gonna be like that episode with Sam where someone was cutting off his life support, isn't it?

EWWW ALEX'S DEAD BODY OPENED HER EYES! D8

"OHHHH let's just hang him now, shall we?" Someone didn't take their happy pills today.

Oh Chris, you're such a silly man sometimes C: "I have eyball on the target...I MEAN I CAN SEE HIM."

"Just follow him yeh dickhead" Oh Gene, you.

ALEX BE CREEPIN' AGAIN

"It goes up your ass" OH MY LORD CHRIS' FACE.

Well that titles sequence came awfully quick after that lol

"Your BOYFRIEND... Dear god." Ah Gene, you're so naive.

"Tyrannosaurus Hunt" BEST. NICKNAME. EVER. I'm going to call Gene that from now on. Actually I probably won't because I can't actually spell that *quickly uses spell-check*

That was literally the most random point I've ever heard, Alex. "...Eskimos?" Bahaha, gotta love Shaz.

"Now, let's just focus on the crimes he commits and not whose cock he sucks." "*DEAD SILENCE*"

LOLOLOLOL CHRIS IS SO FREAKED OUT

"A shipment of what?" "I can't tell." BETTER NOT BE DILDOS AGAIN MISTER.

*cue epic moment with epic camera angles and epic characters and epic music all combined into one epic scene*

I'll bet you anything Gene's making Alex climb first so he can look at her ass- I KNEW IT.

Who does a drug deal right next to a fucking WINDOW? "Oh, I know a great place to do this top secret deal that will most definitely get me locked up in prison if I'm caught: right next to a window! It's brilliant!"

Oohhhh, they're guns. Whatever, same thing.

IT'S THAT DAMN MIME AGAIN.

Gene's car looks so funny I thought he was driving backwards for a moment |D

FFF IT'S THE CAR SCREECH SCENE FROM THE TITLES SEQUENCE

Jesus Christ, their banter is so funny sometimes, I'm dying over here, I swear.

...Alex is talking to hallucinations againnnn O~o

Okay, I'm sorry, but that birthmark on Molly's cheek is annoying the shit out of me 8C

"His is not ringing any BELLS" Oh my god Chris, you're too fucking adorable, I CAN'T HANDLE IT. AND HE'S COVERING HIS CROTCH LOLOLOL

...Alex has a Jammie Dodger on her desk. *desperately tries to calm my DW fangirl self*

Chris is sooo thinking "ALEX YOU GODDAMNED COCK-BLOCK."

This scene is so damn funny, 'specially, Alex chucking food at Chris when he falls asleep :B

Alex did NOT seriously just say "flesh" right? QAQ

"He's ruthless, ambitious, and now he wants guns." OOOOO GOTTTA GET 'DEM PECS EH ALEX?

"WHY does Neary want guns?" HE'S GOTTA IMPRESS THE LADIES ALEX, GEEZ.

"He'd never fit!" Ray you're so mean to Gene 8C ...Though I'll admit I laughed.

WHAT is with Ray and that football? He's like, attached at the hip with it or something.

Aw, Chris, you're so clumsy.

This guy's ears are so BIG. It's bothering me.

"Get a whiff of that: MAN STINK" Alex is like: Nooo thank you.

BAHAHAHA THEY JUST DRAGGED THE BARTENDER INTO THEIR VISTORY PILE

OH GOD after Alex's comment they're just like: Hugging? Pfft, we weren't HUGGING. WE'RE MANLY, YEAHHHH~

Ewww, that dead body's actually pretty gruesome D:

Gene's got this look on his face that's just screaming "I'm gonna fuck your shit up"

Seeing Gene so upset over a guy he barely knows makes me wonder how he reacted when Sam died... 8'C

"He's got a big dick." NOT they information they were looking for I believe.

SOMEONE'S IN DENIAL I THINK, OOOO. THINGS COULD GET MESSY.

Alex, I REALLYYYYYY don't think you want to go to that bar... :/

Too many imaginaries Alexxxxxx D8 I'm confused.

OH DAMN YEAH GENE, YOU KEEP THAT COAT OFF.

Lol Gene fixing up Alex is really cute there C:

"Fight off the ladies" eh Gene? You SURE about that? Because I don't think you know what kind of bar you're going to. *has watched the "Next Time" bit so knows what's coming*

OH GOD GENE'S FACE WHEN HE WALKS INTO THE CLUB IS THE DEFINITION OF "Oh fuck."

OMG. I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING.

...This moment just got really creepy DX

"What are we celebrating?" "D'you need a reason?" YES. IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY. ALEX NEVER GOT ME A CAKE. YOU NEED TO MAKE UP FOR THAT.

"WHAT"RE THOSE? *points at his sunglasses*" They're his BAMF accessories, Alex.

"No, like a big hairy bloke!" "*Ray walks up*" "*everyone stares at him*" OH GOD LOLOLOL POOR RAY.

OH GOD, CHRIS' GAY VOICE. I NEED THAT AS A RINGTONE.

"Just watch your back" Nice double meaning there Gene XD

Oh my god, I am beyond excited to watch Ray flirt with a guy. BEYOND.

C-CAN'T...BREATHE...DUE TO LAUGHTER...

Oh my god, Gene and Chris faces watching Ray are just like "8'D"

Aww, Ray, you can't punch your fake date D:

Marcus, hanging up on Alex was a dick move.

OH GOD TRIPPY MOMENT

They're this like drinking is a good thing "Ohhhhh I shouldn't OHOHO BUT WHY NOT? We'll only get addicted to it one day and it will slowly drive is into an early grave, hahahaha!"

Man Alex, way to ruin the happy moment :C

STOP TALKING TO YOUR HALLUCINATIONS ALEX, IT'S CREEPIN' ME OUT.

Dude, I thought her booze bottle was maple syrup. FAILLLL~

OMG THAT MIME ALMOST GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK D'8

"Hi, come in!" "*doesn't show the person" WHO IS IT, I MUST KNO- Oh nevermind, it's just Marcus.

Awww, is he gonna visit his parents?-OMG HE IS, I'M ON A ROLL TODAY.

Wow, I'm actually really nervous, I DON'T WANT MARCUS TO GET CAUGHT, HE'S GOT TOO BIG EARS TO DIE.

Lol Ray hitting Chris X3

"What' he doing?" "Well I don't want to DEMONSTRATE" "*moaning in the background*" PFFT.

OH MY GOD DON'T LET MARCUS DIE DON'T DON'T DON'TTTTT

OH THANK GOD, HE'S NOT.

"Never marry me." Ohohoho, I know who'd like to marry you though, Alex :D

"That's good enough for me, dolly." And speaking of him... XD

...I can't get enough of the credits 80s computer style lololol


	6. S1 E6

**A/N: Oh gosh, over 20 reviews? Thank you so much guys! QAQ**

_...In which I basically fangirl way too much over Gene/Alex. Conversion is crazy._

...They had the "I'll let you stamp my bum" part in previously. I lol'd again.

Oh could the mime just FUCK OFF already?

Aaand we open on Alex tossing and turning with Tainted Love playing in the background. Fun times.

MY GOD I JUST REALIZED THAT THOSE ARE LYRICS IN THE SONG. WHAT.

Trippy moment with the RUBIKS CUBE OF DOOOOMMMM

This scene is reminding me of the ones they always overplayed in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. WE GET. HARRY IS HAVING BAD DREAMS. WE DON'T NEED YOU TO SHOW US EVERY 5 MINUTES.

What the hell? When did a disco ball playing Alex's memories get in the room?

Ohhh. It's a projector. Whoops.

FFFF DON'T GIVE UP SO EASILY MINI!ALEX. DON'T ACT LIKE MY SISTER. WHO IS VERY ANNOYING BTW. IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING. WHICH YOU PROBABLY WEREN'T. AT ALL.

Oh my god, Molly popping up in the background there creeped me out D8 GO AWAY CHILD WITH THE ANNOYING BIRTHMARK ON YOUR CHEEK. AWAYYYYYY~

"This is like I'm dying." Really now. Huh. What a surprise. No, go on. This all obviously new to me

OMGWTFBBQ THE BED ATE HER

Who's in the bed, who's in the bed, WHO'S IN THE BEEEDDDDD?

I NEVER GOT TO FIND OUT. THANKS GENE.

FFFF They still have some gnomes in the office 8D

Goddamnit Ray, you're such a cock-block.

Y'know, Chris is going to end up getting cock-blocked by everyone by the end of this series, I swear.

Oh Chris, you and your headphones :'D You're like me. Except mine are bigger, despite it being 2011. That's a bit of a setback.

I'd hate to be I a car chase with Gene. I'd be flipping out the whole time. Lie literally I'd be like "GHEDCHJGJDGFDNHFGJSGFG, DUDE YOU ALMOST HIT THAT TREE, SGFGHJGJGMBH" The whole time.

"YES. So DUCK." What if you had bad reflexes? DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?

"Now that's takin' a piss." Ah Gene. I love you.

"Two shotguns. TWO." I'm sorry I didn't catch that. Three you say?

Lmfao Chris' American impression "Are you talkin' to me? *makes face*" "It was him!" Oh great Chris, now the shopkeeper thinks YOU did it.

"Well, what do we do now?" You come visit me. Alex still owes me cake you know. You can be in it.

What the hell Gene? "Do it again for me. The dance" DANCE FOR MEEEEEEE~

Who the hell is Chaz Kale? Should I know this? I certainly hope not.

Thank you for asking that for me, Alex ;A;

"He's quite young. 'bout my age." Nice try Gene. We all know you're old. OLD-Y OLD-Y TWO BY FOUR, CAN'T FIT THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR.

...I'm only joking Gene, I love youuuu~ QAQ

Gene: *blows smoke on Alex* Alex: I WILL END YOU IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN.

Alright Alex, Talking to yourself again. In case you haven't noticed. Just thought I'd tell you.

OMFG GO AWAY MIME

Wait. So Alex was staring at the mime in the window, which was technically Gene. Which means they were staring at each other. OHOHOHO I'M FINDING GENE/ALEX SUBTEXT EVERYWHERE NOW.

Ooo, you can order people? Can I order a Gene Hunt please? 8D

Chaz is dinky. DINKY DINKY TWO BY FOUR, CAN ACTUALLY FIT THROUGH THE KITCHEN DOOR.

"And you out him through this. Thank you." No problem, man. Always here to re-destroy people's lives. Love it.

"At least HE knew when to call it a day!" OOOO BURN ALEX.

Aw, poor Chris. All he wants is to go on a date with Shaz. Now it'd her mum that's being a cock-block. WHO'S NEXT?

WHOA WHY IS ALEX'S HAND SO BIG IT LOOKS LIKE KIRK'S FROM THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE.

...Oh nevermind. It was the camera angle, FALSE ALARM.

AND IT'S THE RUBIKS CUBE OF DOOOOMMMM AGAIN

Ohhh. I see. Alex thinks she's already leaving. Sorry, you've got about 17 more episodes. Unless that's just one really drawn out death. Which I certainly hope it isn't because that'd fucking boring. I WANT MORE GENEEEEEE D8

"What must you think of me?" YOU'RE INSANE GIRL. INSANEEEEEE.

Also, you have funny eyeshadow.

Alex, you're making this sound like you're in love with another woman. If she wasn't your mum. It would be awkward either way.

...Gene, do I want to know what you're drawing?

...Probably not. Your drawings scare me most of the time.

...And by most I mean all.

Gene's like "NOPE I WASN'T DOODLING ANYTHING DIRTY NOPE NOT AT ALL I'M MUCH TOO MATURE FOR THAT NOW GTFO PLEASE AND THANK YOU OH OKAY YOU CAN STAY I GUESS YOU'RE VERY PUSHY YOU KNOW."

Lmao "I gather you've made progress?" "No, not really *holds up half-finished rubiks cube*" I don't think that was what she was talking about Chris.

"Pub crawl? Let me get my car keys." Ah Gene. I think you like drinking a LITTLE too much. Alex agrees with me. FUCK YEAH.

Alex... You're not gonna steal Gene's car are y-OMFG YOU ARE.

FELONY ALEX. FELONYYYYYY.

...I actually have no fucking clue what a felony is.

LMFAOOOO "You're off the team!" "Oh I'm off the team?" "Wait no, you can clean my car out! D8" "OH NO, I'M OFF THE TEAM! 8D"

OH FUCK OFF MIME. JUST FUCK OFF.

EVERY EPISODE YOU'RE HERE, MIMING UP THE PLACE. JUST STOP IT.

"The graphics, they're amazing!" THEY'RE PIXELS, CHRIS. PIXELS.

"Who will catch her?" "No one 'opefully!" Ah Gene. Don't deny it.

Me and Luigi are on the same page here Gene. GO TO HERRRRR.

TRIPPY MOME-HOLY FUCK THE MIME IS IN HER ROOM.

Lol Luigi won't let it go. Gene's like "FUCK OFF, I DON'T LOVE HER" And Luigi just goes "NUUUUU YOU DO I HAVE REASONS"

OMG DO I GET TO FINALLY FIGURE OUT WHO WAS IN ALEX'S BED?

...No. No I don't. RAGEEEEEEEE.

Daww, the Gene coming to see Alex thing was so sweet X3

Aaaaand Ray and Chris are STILL playing Space Invaders. Must be those amazing graphics.

Gene gave her his coat. I'm going to die from the fluff overload.

Looks like Alex is feeling better. Arguing is what she does best when it comes to Gene.

"What is this: slap Gene day?" I WON'T SLAP YOU GENE. I'LL HUG YOU. I'LL BET YOU LOOOVE HUGS.

"I think I had a dream about you last night :D" YOU'RE CREEPIN' AGAIN ALEX.

"Is it tomorrow yet?" FFFF THIS KID IS ADORABLE.

OH GOD, I CAN PRACTICALLY SMELL THE GARBAGE THROUGH MY SCREEN. EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO THROW UP.

Gene is having a RAGE FIT.

EWEWEWEW HE'S MISSING HIS EYE.

Kid, your birthday isn't as bad as mine. I got no cake with Gene in it. It was terrible.

I think this moment is turning into my favourite moment so far from series 1. "And one of those big stupid cakes with air in the middle!"

"It's beautiful music! 8C" Lmfao Poor Luigi.

...Oh my god I think they're gonna find Gene's doodle.

OH MY GOD IT IS. AND IT HAS ALEX IN IT LOL HAHAHAHA ME AND LUIGI WERE RIGHT GENE.

YO I KNOW THIS SONG.

AWSGJKHJVHNJ THIS JUST GOT INTENSE GUYS.

Bondage time! :D

Not that I'm very happy about this particular development, Gene might be though. Still haven't seen that doodle of his soooo~

...That was the most epic Gene moment ever. Yanking out his gun and shooting the window. Oh my god, that was the definition of badass.

NO GENE. KISS HER ANYWAYS. PLEASE. PLEASEPLSEASEPLSEASE- NOOOOOOO QAQ

"Y'know think it's called a concussion." Ah, well, he still made the moment awesome. Although I really wish they kissed.

"...Bloody 'ell" Gene practically ran to grab that drawing down. DON'T DENY IT GENE. YOU KNOW YOU LOVE HER.

Chris, Ray, and Shaz are like "...We totally didn't put your drawing up there. Nope. Not us."

...ALEX DON'T YOU GO DENYING YOU DON'T WANT HIM EITHER. THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING.

DON'T YOU DARE GIVE HER A LIFT, GENE MUST DO IT. GENE I TELL YOU. GENEEEEEE.

...OMG. GENE WAS IN THE BED. _YES_.

And Alex is all confused. FFF it's cute.


	7. S1 E7

**A/N: All I have to say is: wtf is up with the episode description? "****The team investigates the armed robbery of a fundraiser who has been travelling across the country in a bathtub full of baked beans to raise money for Children in Need."**

_...In which I am very displeased with the screenwriters. VERY._

YAY PREVIOUSLY.

Fufufufu, they showed Gene saving Alex again. I AM ALREADY IN A GOOD MOOD.

Okay. This s weird. WHY IS EVERYTHING OLD-LOOKING? AND WHY HAS GENE BEEN REPLACED BY AN UGLY ASSHEAD?

Oh. Nevermind. THEY WERE WATCHING A MOVIE. I AM DISPLEASED WITH THE CASTING HOICES THOUGH.

And then they cut to Alex looking like she's watching porn with Gene. Jesus Christ, could her eyes get any wider?

"I was actually shot!" I think we figured that out by now, bean-man.

I'm calling him bean-man because I've already forgotten his real name.

OH FUCK. MIME-TIME.

OH EWWW, HE DREW THE QUESTION MARK IN BLOOD.

Wtf, this mime's laughing sounds REALLY fucked up. I'm not kidding. I sounded normal at first then he's suddenly sounding like he's couching up a lung.

HOLY SHIT. THE BLOODY QUESTION MARK IS ON HER CALENDAR NOW.

I think this episode is going to be one those ones where they want to scare the shit out of you. I AM QGOING TO BE HAVING MIME-RELATED NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK NOW, DAMMIT.

YAY TITLES SEQUENCE. I'm still freaked out though. FUCK YOU, SCREENWRITERS. JUST, FUCK YOU.

Lmfao, the lion picture on Gene's office. It's got a striking resemblance to him.

"WELL COME ON, SHOW COMPASSION NOW!" I don't think it works like that, Gene.

And Alex is talking to the radio. I think she just enjoys talking to inanimate objects or something. "Why hello there radio, how are you today? I'm fine, but I think someone's going to die. Oh well!"

...Did Gene just ask Alex out on a date? Or are my accent-impaired ears just hearing weird shit now?

OMG. ALEX SORT OF SAID YES. I THINK.

Gene and her are just standing there like "...Fuck, this awkward." YET IT IS SO DAMN ADORABLE.

"Wear somethin' slutty." Fuck, I guess I was wrong about the date lol THIS IS WHAT I GET FOR BEING CANADIAN AND UNABLE TO UNDERSTAND THEIR ACCENTS.

OMG. WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GET RID OF THIS FUCKING MIME?

GO AWAY. YOU DON'T SCARE ME ANYMORE. YOU'RE JUST ANNOYING.

"Who is it going to be?" Well, as long as it's not Gene, I don't really care. GENE IS TOO AMAZING TO DIE.

Okay, am I supposed to know who the fuck Sid Little is? Because this guy keeps dropping his name. SHUT UP, NO ONE CARES ABOUT WHO YOU KNOW.

Why hullo there, bean-man. You have very pretty eyes. But your moustache scares me.

"I've got an amazing organ." Oh Gene. You sure do enjoy talking about your dick.

Watching this scene has made me realize something very important about Gene: He's really fucking short.

Gene just managed to scare off a large group of men with a look. That is when you know someone is the definition of badass.

"That was blunt but surprisingly effective." "That's me all over." Ah Gene, you kidder, you.

YES. IT'S THE RETURN OF THE PINK WAFER COOKIE.

I'M SORRY GUYS, I JUST LOVE THESE WAFERS. THEY TASTE AMAZING.

"D'you think she wears heels or comfortable shoes?" ...Why exactly does this matter, Chris?

LMFAO "That is a GOOD name for a boy band!"

LOL They just made two boy band references without realizing it.

Alex, you crack me up. "Unless I choose to kill you." Just as long as it's not Gene. HE'S TOO AMAZING.

...What's with the slow 80s music they suddenly started playing? Is it hinting at something?

OH MY GOD IS BEAN-MAN'S MOUSTACHE GOING TO COME ALIVE AND EAT ALEX?

The music's getting creepy agaiiiinnn D:

Okay. I am getting sick and tired of this goddamn mime. GO AWAY. I DON'T LIKE YOUR FACE.

...I think Gene is wearing cowboy boots lol

"Not happening," Gene, if this is Alex you're talking to, I guarantee you're going on tv.

BAHAHA, HE REALLY IS OH GOD HE'S WEARING A PINK TOWEL AROUND HIS NECK.

Omg. I am loving this. Gene is so pissed lol

OH GOD RAY AND CHRIS' FACES WHEN THEY SEE THAT GUY. EXCUSE ME WHILE I LAUGH FOREVER.

"Break your neck!" "No, break your LEG, Chris!" I'm curious to know as to what on earth ever made Chris assume that is was neck in the first place.

Aw, poor Gene, he looks so nervous D:

DON'T FUCK THIS UP GENE. That is all.

OH DAMN. HE IS TOTALLY FUCKING THIS UP.

ALEX, YOU MUST COMFORT GENE NOW. NOW I TELL YOU. I NEED MY ALEX/GENE FLUFF FIX.

...Gene just said "Dickheads". I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO SAID THAT.

I JUST FELT A CONNECTION, GENE.

Holy shit, Gene is totally loosing it. THIS IS WHY ALEX SHOULD'VE COMFORTED HIM.

Don't ask me why but I always though balaclava was pronounced "backlava".

WHOA THIS GETTING INTENSE GUYS.

SO INTENSE THAT I ACTUALLY FORGOT TO WRITE "IS" ABOVE HERE

...Don't fight guys, don't fight, don't fi-they're fighting D8

"I'll be back for me bathtub" I laughed so hard at that. Is that odd?

Even when Alex knows that she's done the right thing she still doesn't like seeing Gene getting insulted. Dawww.

...They keep fighting. THIS IS MAKING MY HEART BREAK, I'M NOT EVEN JOKING. I don't think I'll ever be able to watch this episode again. It makes me too sad to see Alex and Gene's relationship just DIE IN FRONT OF ME.

"Friday the 13th, part 2." "Is that romantic?" "...It's set by a lake." SHAZ DON'T FALL FOR IT, IT'S A SCARY MOVIE.

Everyone is pissed at Alex. I don't blame them. I want to fast forward through this episode until I see Gene and Alex make up and hopefully GO ON THAT DATE THEY MADE.

WTF. ALEX GET AWAY FROM THAT ASSHEAD. YOU LOVE GENE, NOT... FUCK I FORGOT HIS NAME. EVAN I THINK. WHATEVER. GET AWAY FROM HIM I TELL YOU.

...Alex is acting like she's high. It's weirding me out.

OH SHUT THE FUCK UP, EVAN. I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO HERE.

HAHAHA. YES, KEEP THINKING OF GENE. TELL EVAN TO FUCK OFF NOW.

Pfft, Alex totally just ruined the mood. "Oh yeah, I wasn't thinking about you, I was thinking of Gene! :D"

Hahaha,. Evan has realized it too. NOW WE JUST NEED TO POUND IT INTO ALEX'S THICK HEAD.

Oh wow Gene. You WOULD come back for your booze.

"What is it?" It appears to be a deranged Garfield, Ray... Not much to say about that really.

Seeing Gene eat all alone makes me want to cry D:

OH GROSSSSSSS, THIS IS THE GROSSEST SCENE EVER OH MY GOD EWWWWW.

OH MY GOD HIS HAND IS GREY. THIS IS SO NASTY.

"What is this, Scooby-doo?" I love you Gene.

"If you care to drop on your knees in front of me, I will NOT object" ...Do I really want to know if that has a double meaning or not Gene?

FUFUFUFU GENE IS LYING ON TOP OF ALEX. YES.

OH MY GOD DON'T LET GENE DIE.

...Wait. He can't die. There are still 2 series left.

NEVERMIND THEN, I'LL STOP FREAKING OUT.

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD I THINK SHAZ JUST GOT STABBED.

OH MY GOD.

HOLY FUCK IT'S THE MIME.

NONONONO I AM FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW.

OHMY GOD SHE'S ALIVE HOLY SHIT I THINK I'M GOING TO CRY I'M SO HAPPY.

...Although this had a happy ending I'm still upset that has been no general make-up involving Gene and Alex

I AM DISPLEASED AGAIN, SCREENWRITERS.

If that's Evan knocking at the door I'm somehow going to figure out a way to punch him in the face, despite the fact that he does not really exist.

WTF IT IS HIM FUCK OFF EVAN, FUCK OFF. I HATE YOU MORE THN THAT FUCKING MIME RIGHT NOW.

Brooding Gene is brooding.

...Wait. THIS EPISODE IS OVER? THERE'S NO MORE GENE/ALEX AT THE END?

I AM DISPLEASED.

VERY DISPLEASED.


	8. S1 E8

**A/N: Woo! Last episode of the first series! I'm keeping my finger crossed less Gene and Alex fighting!**

_...In which I cry and fangirl, all while wishing to maim the screenwriters._

I've decided that Alex looks much more attractive on the 80s than she did in 2008. I think it's her hair.

...Why the hell is the mime doing different poses on that car?

Alex, I hate to break it to you but you've got another 2 series ahead of you. You're not going home, trust me.

"Some people get angels. And I get you." Alex, you've started your creeper mode again, haven't you?

Oh damn. The sound is completely off in this version I've found online. I am going to spend most of this episode wishing their mouths will actually form the words they're saying.

YAY DARTS

OI, ALEX. PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE.

Or y'know. Ignore it.

Bahaha, Alex is trying to get the others to actually acknowledge her. It's not working. At allll.

Alex, you sound so fake here it's not even funny. Actually, it is quite funny. Btw, you still owe me a cake.

"Oh, my mum uses that!" ...Great Chris. That was exactly what we wanted to know.

Lord... Who? Skarmon? Who's he? Is he important? Why is there weird cowboy gun fight music playing in the background suddenly?

"Enough cowboy metaphors" THANK YOU FOR READING MY MIND, ALEX.

I can't decide on whether I like Gene with without his coat. HE LOOKS SO SEXY EITHER WAY.

Plot? What plot?

OH FUCK OFF, EVAN.

HEY, ALEX'S DAD. SMOKING KILLS. DON'T FUCKING SMOKE. THAT IS ALL.

THIS MESSAGE WAS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THAT SCREAMING CHILD IN THE BACK.

"A very charming man," NO. HE IS AN ASSHEAD.

"Uncle Angus? Is that what he's callin' himself now, the dirty bastard?" LMFAO

"What's this s'posed to be?" "Trophy cabinet, sir." "Then why is it empty?" "We haven't won any trophies." OH GOD. BRB DYING OF LAUGHTER.

...Alex. Did you just call Ray "Raymundo"?

Oh yes. I'm sure Gene will be thrilled to find ut you've stolen his car, for the second time I might add. At least this time you're not shoving garbage in the back end, right?

"lock him up" OH GOD...THIS EP... CAN'T STOP LAUGHING...

OOO ALEX BE CREEPIN' AGAIN.

Lmao Ray's really getting into his singing there

THIS MOMENT=FUCKING PRICELESS. Alex riding a giant pink tank? Fucking hell, I'm gonna run out of air before it's been 20 minutes in.

"You should've thought about that before you omitted a criminal offence." CHRIS' FACE. OMG.

*cue epic cowboy music as Gene walks into the room... With his cowboy boots* *tries to stifle laughter*

Oh Gene. We all know the real reason why you want Alex to unbutton her shirt more.

Why is his name LORD Skarmon? He's not really a Lord, is he?

OH SHIT I THINK GENE AND ALEX ARE GONNA FIGHT AGAIN. NOO. NONONO.

SHIT SHIT SHIT I WAS RIGHT.

Oh god. I feel so bad for Chris. YET I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT HIM.

Gene Genie. HOW I MISSED HIM SAYING THAT.

OH EWWWW LAYTON IS BEING A TOTAL CREEPER.

HE'S FOGGING UP THE POLICE GLASS, THAT IS PLAIN CREEPY.

FUCKING EVAN. ALWAYS SHOWING UP AND DOING FUCKING NOTHING. FUCK OFF, EVAN.

...Sorry. I just really hate him.

A lot.

A lot a lot.

"You still owe me dinner." HAHAHAHA. YES.

"Can I be Jesus?" No you cannot. You don't need to be. You're already amazing.

...Did Chris just fart? O-o

Cocaine? What?

I AM CONFUZZLED AGAIN.

AND AGAIN. I'M LOL-ING OVER CHRIS.

They keep fighting QAQ It hurts my shipping heart. Because, y'know. I've obviously got a second heart for the sole purpose of shipping other couples.

Alex's mother has finally caught on to how creepy she was being. THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR CREEPIN' ON YOUR PARENTS, ALEX.

Oh my god. This moment just got really sad and touching ;A;

ASHES TO AHSES, Y U SO GOOD?

OH MY GOD. CHRIS. I LOVE YOU SO HAR RIGHT NOW BUT YOU KEEP MAKING ME LAUGH.

Oh god, it's Shaz. She looks so... I dunno. Dead. IT'S DEPRESSING.

Fufufu, Alex sounds rather happy that she's having dinner with Gene. MAYBE THEY'RE ACTUALLY MAKE-UP. OR EVEN KISS AND MAKE-UP. THAT WOULD BE EVEN BETTER. *crosses fingers*

...Alex. You speak the cold hard truth. Pretty much every A2A fan WOULD give anything to be in your place.

WTF. I THINK GENE JUST SMILED. HE NEVER SMILES. BUT HE JUST DID. HE SERIOUSLY DID. I AM FREAKING OUT OVER THIS. OMG. SERIOUSLY GUYS. THIS IS SO WEIRD.

...That's it? "I'm going to rather miss you"? Not "I love you"? I AM DISPLEASED AGAIN, SCREENWRITERS.

SAY YES SAY YES S- WTF. I HATE THE SCREENWRITERS. I HATE THEM. OMG. I'M GOING TO RUN OFF AND BEAT THEM, I SWEAR.

THAT FUCKING MIME. You know what? I don't think that stupid-ass mime even deserves caps locks anymore. I hate him that much.

Chris just totally dented Ray's masculinity. SMOOTH ONE.

EWWW, RAY YOU'RE SUCH A PEDO.

OH FUCK OFF, LORDY SKARMON OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOUR NAME IS.

...Okay. I'm sorry, but this moment is WAY TOO CHEESY FOR EVEN ME. EVERYONE'S CHEERING AND I'M PISSING MYSELF.

OH YEAH EPIC CLOSE-UP OF THE PHONE.

HOLY SHIT IT'S LAYTON.

THIS IS GETTING INTENSSSSE.

OMG. I'LL BET YOU ANYTHING THAT EVAN IS BEHIND THI-OMG THERE HE IS OMG I THINK HE IS BEHIND THIS OMG.

Wow. They WOULD play Bowie's Ashe to Ashes RIGHT BEFORE THEY ET KILLED. OH, THE IRONY OF THIS SHOW.

THIS IS INTENSE OMG OMGOMGOMG

...omg.

The fucking mime was Alex's DAD.

MY MIND WAS JUST BLOWN. IT WASN'T EVAN. IT WAS HER DAD. WTF.

Oh my god. I need this moment to play forever and ever, a million times over in my eyes I'm not even joking. Gene was the one who held Alex when she saw her parent's car blow up. Omg. I think I'm going to cry.

This moment is oddly reminiscent of the first episode.

GENE STILL LOOKS NICE AND MANLY WHILE CARRYING SOMEONE FAIRYTALE STYLE.

The end of this episode filled me with happy, despite the voices being about ten seconds off.

AND OMG ALEX TOTALLY JUST GAVE GENE "I wanna sex you up" EYES. WHAT AN AWESOME WAY TO END THE FIRST SERIES.

**A/N: And WOW. Series 1 is finished. Thanks to all of you who have stuck with me for the first run! :D And on to series 2 next time!**


	9. S2 E1

**A/N: OMG WHUT IS THIS IT'S SERIES 2, FUCK YEAH.**

_...In which I grieve over the loss of the mime._

Aaand, we open in on... A hospital bed... In the present? Looks like it. Or they just suddenly got REALLY good equipment in 1982.

FUCK YEAH, WEAKEST LINK IS ON GUYS.

"I wonderwhere she could be?" In the 80s. With Gene Hunt. BE JEALOUS OF HER.

...*insert weird 80s music here* Suddenly I'm not so jealous of Alex anymore. I wouldn't want weird music stalking me wherever I go.

"I'm sure DI Drake knows what a 69 is." LMAO I LOVE YOU GENE.

Is it just me or is Alex's hair different? Like, shorter? And darker? Or is that just the intoxicating fumes of Gene's sexiness blinding me?

"SHHHIIITTTTT!" LITERALLYYYYYYYYY.

Hahaha, you THINK it's invincible. But remember Titanic? That one? Yeah? That awesome-tastic movie with Leonardo DiCaprio? YES I KNOW IT WAS AN ACTUAL EVENT I WAS JUST LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO SAY.

Since when has Alex had cowboy boots? O-o

THE NEWS IS THAT YOU'RE DEAD, YEAH /end My Chemical Romance song reference

OHOHOHO IT APPEARS WE'VE GOT A NEW TITLE SEQUENCE ON OUR HANDS, BURSTING WITH MORE BEAUTIFUL SHOTS OF ALEX AND GENE.

Alex seems more perky. It's weirding me out. AND OMG I JUST REALIZED THAT THOSE ARE GENE'S BOOTS.

Gene looks like a lost puppy when he's sitting by himself. It saddens me D: ALEX GO MAKE HIM BETTER.

Lmao Luigi is totally creeping on Alex and Gene these days. Even he sees the romance blossoming between them.

HEY GENE. I LIKE YO' BOOTS *creepy face*

AW YEAH EPIC CAR CHASE. COMPLETE WITH ONE HALF OF THE CAR'S OCCUPANTS ROCKIN' SOME SHADES.

Though Chris is completely failing to look badass in his. HE'S TOO... I DUNNO... CUTE.

"He's not gonna be anymore dead if we get there five minutes later!" She speaks the truth Gene. THE TRUUUUTH.

WTF THERE IS A MAN WALKING AROUND WITH A GIANT, PINK ,CARDBOARD PENIS.

I AM NOT SHITTING YOU GUYS.

...The old woman just started speaking with a man's voice. A MAN'S VOICE. THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE. UNLESS SHE JUST HAS AN ODD AMOUNT OF TESTOSTERONE FOR AN OLD WOMAN BUT I SINCERELY DOUBT THAT.

I literally said "...What?" At the same time Gene did. I FEEL ANOTHER CONNECTION WITH HIM. BECAUSE ONE DAY WE'LL FIND, THE RAINBOW CONNECTION~ /end Kermit the Frog reference

"A man just like you" ROFL. I DON'T THINK THAT'S A MAN, CHRIS. Also, I don't ink Alex would be happy to know you're copying everything she says. You're like an easily impressionably fish... Or something. WHATEVER.

"All I can see is Shaz." You are such an ASSHEAD sometimes, Ray.

Also, WHY IS EVERYBODY'S HAIR DIFFERENT IN THIS SERIES.

I JUST REALIZED THAT ALEX IS WEARING A DIFFERENT SHIRT *mind blown*

"I'd heard a lot about you." I have no fucking clue who this guy is. WHY DO I NEVER KNOW THESE PEOPLE?

"No respect for their elders these days" CAN'T...STOP...LAUGHING...

"Things are moving." Like the camera? Yes, I've noticed that too, Alex. It does that often you know.

PRINCESS LEIA? I CERTAINLY HOPE NOT LOL

Oh my god, Chris and Ray you're too blunt sometimes XD "Yeah he's dead "

OH SHIT THE KIDS ARE HOME. THIS IS NOT GONNA GO WELL.

Part of Gene's awesome coat is sticking out of the car door. IT'S BOTHERING ME.

I WANNA KNOW ABOUT TOOOOOO

Fine don't tell m-HOLY FUCK DANCING FISHNET LEGS, WHUT.

"In your dreams." "I certainly hope so" I SMELL AN M-RATED FANFIIIIC.

Alex, I share your distaste in watching this. TRUST ME. ALSO, RAY SHUT THE FUCK UP.

OH LOOK, IT'S A PIRATE STRIPPER, FUN.

"Well, is someone going to arrest her?" "WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS IN SUCH A HURRY? D:" Oh Gene, you make me laugh so much.

...The strip-club is called "Naked City"? Really? That is the most uncreative name I've ever heard.

...I can't believe I just criticized a strip club name.

H-hyde? HYDE? SAAAAM? QAQ SAME OH GOD I FORGOT HOW MUCH I MISSED HIMMMMM *runs off to sob in corner*

GENE JUST SMILED. TWICE. ACTUALLY IT WAS MORE OF A MIRK BUT IT STILL DISTURBED ME.

"I've seen bacon grill for longer than that." ...I haven't heard THAT one before, Alex.

Bahaha, some guy just ran into the bathroom, saw Gene, and ran right back out.

Chris, you are SHIT with girls. Also, Ray you're still and asshead.

I know this is going to sound stupid but I never really realized how much Alex and Gene hang out together when they're working on case. NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING OR ANYTHING *insert creepy face again*

LUIGI, YOU ARE A CREEPER. THAT IS ALL.

"It's Shaz, she's givin' me the cold shoulder." Well, considering she found out you were at a STRIP CLUB I'M NOT SURPRISED

LMAO EVERYONE KEEPS INTURRUPTING ALEX'S DINNER/LUNCH/WHATEVER

Bahaha, Alex is just like "FUCK THIS *throws down napkin*"

"WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" Gene seems to be a little hard of hearing today.

"She's just been shot!" YES I THINK WE NOTICED THAT GENE

Gene looks so sad when she's dying. IT MAKES ME SAD AS WELL ;A;

OH YES THAT CERTAINLY CLEARED EVERYTHING UP, GENE.

"Don't burst in like a bull in a china shop!" "*bursts in*" LMAOOO

"She was with me. In my bed." Don't over excite yourself there. -_-

WHY THE FUCK WOULD SOMEONE EVER WANT TO SLEEP WITH YOU, YOU'RE SO BORING MR. WHATEVER MCDONALD.

WTF IT'S A TRIPPY MOMENT. THERE IS A HELICOPTER IN THE ROOM. OR SOMETHING. DON'T ASK QUESTIONS, JUST GO WITH IT!

Every time Gene calls Alex "Bolls" it makes me laugh because it sounds like "Balls". WHY YES, I DO HAVE THE MATURITY OF A 12 YEAR OLD, WHY DO YOU ASK?

"Have you ever been in love, Mr. Hunt?" YES. YES HE HAS. OR IS TECHNICALLY. IT'S ALEX. ALEXALEXALEXALEX.

WHO'S KEVIN HALES? WHY ARE THEY CONSTANTKY DROPPING NAMES I DON'T KNOW?

...OH WAIT NEVERMIND I JUST REMEMBERED WHO HE IS.

They're playing creepy music. SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN, GUYS.

HOLY FUCK SOMEONE'S KIDNAPPING ALEX.

GENE BETTER COME TO HER RESCUE.

THAT IS MY ONLY WISH.

...Holy shit, this is really freakyyyyy D:

THIS IS GETTING SO INTENSE GUYS I AM NOT KIDDING.

YEAH GENE, YOU BETTER COME TO HER RESCUE.

No Alex. You're not dead. 2 more series, remember?

Jeez, Ale wants to be with Gene even if she's feeling like shit. THAT is dedication.

"YOU SHOT MY CAR YOU BASTARD" ilu you Gene C:

Gene is so worried about Alex. IT FILLS ME WITH HAPPY.

It appears we've found our murderer. YAY MUDERERS.

...Wait, that's bad...

"Who wants a television?" I DO I DO I DO- WAIT. Alex still owes me a cake, goddammit :I

...WTF DON'T TELL ME CHRIS IS DOING A STRIPTEASE

HOLY FUCK HE IS.

I AM UNSURE OF HOW TO REACT TO THIS.

BAHAHA, POOR LUIGI.

I am having the EXACT same reaction as Alex lol

NO I DID NOT LIKE THE FLOWER.

HOLY SHIT IT'S THE CREEPER THATTRIED TO KILL ALEX

Great, so we traded the mime for a psycho. I WANT THE MIME BACK.


	10. S2 E2

**A/N: Look at that, 3 episodes in two days? I spoil you guys.**

_...In which I squeal over the many Galex moments. Hell yes._

WHO'S THE HAZY FIGURE, WHO'S THE HAZY FIGUURRRE~

Oh, it's Alex. Cool.

NO ALEX. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED IN THE INTERVIEW ROOM; EVEN THE DOOR WON'T ALLOW IT.

It's not even two minutes into this episode and Alex is already being creepy. I can tell this episode shall be chock-full of trippy moments. YAYYYY.

I was right. INSERT TRIPPY HELICOPTER SOUNDS HERE.

I don't think Gene will approve of you two checking Alex out.

I should keep a count of how many times these episodes have a car chase BEFORE the total sequence.

...I am going to guess that he died from that. IT WAS A LITTLE OBVIOUS WITH THE SLOW-MO.

"He's dead." "So five years of medical school paid off then." I swear to god, Gene and I are on the same wavelength here.

...Why is the old lady staring at Alex? NOW PEOPLE ARE CREEPIN' ON THE CREEPER.

WE HAVE FAITH IN YOU GENE. BECAUSE YOU ARE AMAZING.

"I come when I need to." *desperately tries to giggle due to my still 12-year-old maturity level*

"I fact DCI Hunt's a hero." "What? O-o" Alex, you sound so surprised.

IT JUST OCCURED TO ME THAT ALEX IS WEARING A DIFFERENT OUTFIT AGAIN. MY GOD I THINK SHE ACTUALLY WENT OUT AND BOUGHT SOME MORE CLOTHES.

Chris is gonna propose to Shaz? SERIOUSLY *squeals like the fangirl I am*

Lmfao I take it Chris is not a huge fan of Kevin.

IIIII TRUST YOU GENE *creepy face*

Ohhh man. Ray and Chris are like "...You're not serious right? THIS IS A SHITLOAD OF PEOPLE."

Speaking of divorces Mr. Doctor, we never got to hear about ex/Mrs. Hunt, did we? I WANT TO KNOWWWWWW. KNOW I TELL YOU. NOT "NOW". KNOW.

ALSO, ALEX STILL OWES ME A FUCKING CAKE.

Oh Chris, you're so superstitious.

YAY CARDS. I LOVE CARDS. CAN WE PLAY WAR?

...What? It's the only card game I'm good at D:

HOLY FUCK THESE CARDS THIS WOMAN IS READING ARE RIGHT. THAT IS ODDLY DISTURBING

DAMMITTTTT. I wanted the woman to read for Gene a well D: I WANT TO KNOW HIS SECRETS *creepy face again*

T-TYLER? SAAAMMMM ;A; OH GOD I WANT SAME BACK I LOVE ALEX I REALLY DO BUT OH GOD I MISS SAM AS WELLLL~

What? WHAT'S THE JUICY BIT?

...THAT SOUNDED SO WRONG.

Also, what's this about retiring? GENE'S NOT GONNA RETIRE OR ANYTHING IS HE? D8

This Doctor is reminding me of Evan. I DON'T LIKE YOU MR. DOCTOR :I

"Psychiatry actually. "Psychology." "...SHIT" Lmfao The ONE time Gene thinks it's psychiatry and he gets it wrong.

Gene's like "EWWW, I HAVE TO SHAKE HIS _HAND_?"

"*closes*I think we need a chat." SURPRISE BUTTSEX TIME.

...No, but really. Why does this guy keep spiriting Gene into small dark rooms?

AW YEAH, 80S COMPUTER. GOTTA LOVE 'EM.

WTF TRIPPY MOMENT AGAIN. I have a feeling this season is going to resemble LoM a LOT more than season 1 did. At least there's no creepy call card girl like in LoM D8 SHE SCARED ME.

ALEX YOU'RE BEING A DICK

AAAND WE'RE IN A SAUNA. OR BATH HOUSE. I'M NOT REALLY S-HOLY FUCK OKAY GENE'S IN IT AND HE'S ONLY WEARING A TOWEL.

...I have to say, I'm seriously unsure of how react to this scene.

No seriously. I look exactly like this right now= :I

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO REACT. IT'S WEIRDING ME OUT. OH WELL.

"I like it here *creepy smile*" WTF MAN, YOU'RE A CREEPY. PLEASE GET AWAY FROM GENE.

I'm not really paying much attention to this conversation to be honest. I'm more focusing on the fact that GENE IS NOT WEARING A SHIRT GUYS.

UNFORTUNATLY, THIS GUY ALSO ISN'T WEARING ONE EIT- HOLY FUCK EWWWW DON'T STAND UP.

...Now he's slithering up next to Gene. PLEASE STAY AWAY FROM GENE. ALEX WOULD NOT APPROVE OF THIS.

YES. PLEASE PUT THE TOWEL BACK ON. PLEASE.

...Do I really want to know where Gene was keeping his lighter?

"Lies. Deception." OR DO YOU MEAN'INCEPTION'? OHOHO, GOT YOU THERE.

That was lame joke. Sorry.

MOLLY LOOKS THE SAMARA CHICK FROM THE RING.

YEAHHH, YOU DREAM ABOUT GENE.

WHAT THE HELL, THAT WAS THE TRIPPIEST THING EVER.

AWW, THEY'RE PLAYING CRICKET. DON'T YOU LOVE CRICKET? I LOVE CRICKET.

I'm lying. I've never played cricket before in my life

ALEX BE CREEPIN' AGAIN.

EW BABY HEAD ON THE FLOOR.

It's not a real baby. In case you were worrying. Though I don't think you're that stupid.

...I hope you're not anyway.

Please stop fighting you two QAQ

I STILL DON'T LIKE THIS DOCTOR.

GALEX MOMENT, FUCK YEAH.

"Trust me." I SWEAR TO GOD, if I were in that office I would push Alex onto Gene. And then promptly get fired.

Lmao, poor Chris. I hope he does get to propose to Shaz at end.

YEAH GENE. DON'T CALL HIM. CALL ALEX INSTEAD. *creepy face*

AW YEAH EPIC MOMENT WITH GENE

...Alex was still there. DUDE YOU'RE CREEPING ON GENE NOW?

...Once again, I'm unsure as to how to react to this.

I CAN'T TRUST THIS GUY; HE'S RIPPING GENE'S SHIRT OFF AND PUTTING A NOOSE ON HIM. THAT IS WEIRD.

"You are now properly prepared *CUE EPIC MUSIC*" *cue me dying of laughter in the corner*

WTF WHY IS RAY HERE AND WHO'S THE ONE CREEPING IN THE CORNER?

...I'll bet it's Alex. She does love her creeping.

THIS IS SO DAMN WEIRD. ALSO, FUCK YEAH I WAS RIGHT ABOUT ALEX.

Fufufu Gene said "Come".

...DON'T TELL ME THAT THE PERSON TALKING TO ALEX IS THAT CREEPER WHO KIDNAPPED HER.

OH GOD I WAS RIGHT. JUST RUN ALE. GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

Oh fine, DON'T show your face :C

I want to give Alex a hug now D:

GENE, DON'T BUTTON UP YOUR SHIRT. THAT'S ALL.

"Ohhh, so it's love, actually" THAT IS A MOVIE. WITH ALAN RICKMAN. WHO IS AWESOME.

Alex is like "...OH. So... You're NOT an asshole then?"

And now her eyes are screaming "BUT YOU CAN TRUST MEEE QAQ"

GALEX MOMENT AGAIN, FUCK YEAH.

...I HATE YOU SHAZ. YOU JUST HAD TO GO INTURRUPT THIS, DIDN'T YOU?

Lmfao Gene is like "...Oh SNAP she's having a baby can I leave no- Oh okay fine Alex I'll do what you say because I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU"

Unfortunately, he doesn't actually say that.

LMFAO I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING "Come on Eileen!" "WHY EILEEN?" "I dunno! COME ON EILEEN!"

Gene, you don't look very happy to be carrying a baby lol

LOLLLL AND NOW THEY'RE PLAYING "COME ON EILEEN"

YEAH GENE GENIE

I love it when he says that lol C:

HAHAHAHA TAKE THAT RAY, YOU ASSHEAD

YEAH YOU GO CHRIS

I CAN'T STOP GRINNING. I THINK MY MOUTH IS GOING TO FALL OFF MY FACE.

There's so many Galex moments in this episode. NEW FAVOURITE EPISODE, FUCK YEAH.


	11. S2 E3

**A/N: Now I'm really spoiling you lol 4 Eps in 2 days :P**

_...In which I re-name Mackdonald. Or whatever the hell his name is._

Ah, channel-surfing. Don't you love channel-surfing? I KNOW I DO.

YO WHAT'S GOING ON. Is Alex sick? Is she having a heart attack? DON'T TELLME SHE'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK.

"Why not?" "hgjhgajc" SPEAK ENGLISH CAY-PERSON.

That was a REALLY quick cut to the titles sequence. THIS IS GONNA BE AN INTENSE EP YOU GUYS.

"Says 'im! *points vaguely to sky*" THAT'S VERY HELPFUL I:

Gross a dead rabbit D:

It appears that Chris is having a similar reaction to mine, only 200 times worse.

...Did Gene jut say to send a PANDA around?

...I'm suddenly imagining Gene keeping watch while wearing a panda suit. THIS AMUSES ME GREATLY.

So is Luigi's right across the street or something? I'm just wondering because they go there so often, also Gene mentioning that he and Alex should go there to talk was a bit of an obvious one lol

Lol I thought the motorcycle was a cow mooing. I was like "...Why are the cows in the middle of the street?"

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS A BOMB GUYS. IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE. YOU PROBABLY DID THOUGH.

Actually if you hadn't noticed that I'd be a little worried about you

YAY POST

DON'T YOU LOVE POST? WELL IF YOU DON'T YOU BETTER FUCKING START NOW.

Okay I'm getting the feeling that Raymundo may actually be Ray's full name lol I just assumed it was a pet name that Gene thought up for him. I'M PRRETY THICK SOMETIMES YOU GUYS |D

HOLY FUCK I THOUGHT THAT WAS A WOMAN

Lmao I was wondering why had a man's name |D

Oh, fear closes arguments eh? FFF I'M GONNA GET AS MANY BOMBS AS POSSIBLE NOW, EVERYTIME I GET IN AN ARGUMENT WITH SOMEONE I'M JUST GOONA CHUCK IT THEM. PROBLEM SOLVED.

"The only thing you'll be leaving behind is a nasty smell" ...It's...It's technically true *doesn't really want to take sides*

This is a VERY controversial episode. YAY CONTREVERSY. IT FEEDS THE TROLLS.

"Bombs, arson, assassination..." GIANT PENISES TO HIT PEOPLE WITH. YOU REMEMBER THAT. I KNOW I DO.

Alex isn't forgetting Molly, is she? QAQ OMG I HOPE NOT THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE REALLY DEPRESSING.

"I'm playing the piano" NO YOU'RE NOT, I CAN SEE YOU DAMMIT. YOU'RE SITTING ON YOU ASS STARVING TO DEATH :C

FUCK YOU MEGAVIDEO. FUCK YOU. FINE. I'll just WAIT the 14 minutes then, shall I? *stomps off*

*comes back* NOW I HAVE TO FIND MY PLACE AGAIN D:

...Gene, you bastard. JUST EAT IN FRONT OF THE STARVING VEGETARIAN WHY DON'T YOU?

HOLY SHIT GENE. YOU LOOSING YOUR COOL SCARED MEEEE

"It's all legit" DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE SAY THAT WORD CHRIS. Everyone at my school says it because of Jersey Shore, it's the most annoying thing in the entire world. THEY ALWAYS USE IT OUT OF CONTEXT.

WTF TRIPPY MOMENT AGAIN

OH GOD THE WOMAN IS SPEAKIN WITH A MAN'S VOICE. NOT THIS GAIN.

It creeps me ooouut DX

ALEX STOP TALKING TO YOUR TRIPPY MOMENTS. It just creeps people out.

OR you don't have to take my advice :/ I'LL JUST SIT HERE IN THE BACK AND SCREAM AT YOU THEN I SUPPOSE.

...Is Ray combing his moustache?

LMAO HE IS.

I didn't know people actually combed their moustaches *is highly amused by this for some reason*

DAMMIT GENE YOU RUINED MY AMUSEMENT.

"Gene, can I have a word?" NO YOU CANNOT HAVE A FUCKING WORD MACK-WHOSIT OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS.

This Mackdonald guy or whatever is officially a creeper.

NO I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SPELL HIS NAME WHY DO YOU ASK?

Pfft, now it's Alex getting the psychiatrist/psychologist thing wrong. BETCHA DON'T THINK YOU'RE SO SMART NOW, EH?

...'The Joy of Sex' Chris? _REALLY_?

"Brings back memories." SEEING YOU STIRS MEMORIESSSS~ /end me quoting Repo! The Genetic Opera

Lmao Yes Gene, it does sound familiar. SOUNDS LIKE YOU.

"...Well it should stay up itself." "No, the BOOK" LMAO I love you Chris. And Ray a little bit. You're still an asshead though.

AW YEAH CUE THE EPIC 80S MUSIC GUYS

Gene looks rather adorable with these chunky headphones on C:

Is it weird that I can hear a train in the background? Because I can. It's weirding me out O~o

Alex, I'm pretty sure he's just bullshitting you :/

OR DON'T PAY ATTENTION TO ME AGAIN, FINE.

I'LL JUST KEEP SCREAMING AT YOU.

The train sound is gone now. THAT'S GOOD. IT WAS WEIRD.

"I think he's for something." LIKE A TRAIN, HM? /end lame Inception reference

FUCK YEAH EPIC 80S MUSIC AGAIN.

OMG

THIS SONG SOUNDS ODDLY FAMILIAR

IS IT WHAT I THINK IT IS-OMG IT IS YESSSSS. *begins singing even though there's no singing yet* IT'S THE EYE OF TIGER IT'S THE THRILL OF FIGHT!

Alex just gave Gene a sideways glance I'd like to mention. IT FILLED ME WITH HAPPY C:

FFF MONKEYYYY

MONKEYMONKEYMONKEY C8

...I love monkeys.

Lmao I don't think dogs like you very much, eh Chris?

YAY RUNNING DOWN STAIRS. ACTUALLY NO. I HATE RUNNING DOWN STAIRS. IT REMINDS ME OF MY GYM CLASS.

...Does that seriously "Onion bar?" O_o

That's wha you get for stealing a book that says "The Joy of Sex" on it Chris lol

"I'm a mature student" "...*walks away*" LMAO DENIED, RAY. YOU WERE DENIED.

HEY WHY AREN'T YOU GIVING HIM HIS CHANGE?

FFF SEE? Gene and I are on the same wavelength here. I FEEL THE RAINBOW CONNECTION YOU GUYS.

"Let's see, you're an animal rights activist who sweats green paint" I LOL'D SO HARD. I DUNNO WHY.

OH FUCK OFF MACK-WHOSIT

THAT'S WHAT I'M CALLING FROM NOW ON. MACK-WHOSIT.

Urgh, I'm feeling queasy watching this, all I can think about is all of the damage Gene is causing to this guy, I can feel it myself O~o

OH EW GENE JUST DID A REALLY CREEPY SMILE/CHUCKLE. IT SCARED ME.

YAY MORE CHANNEL SURFING

OMG WTF TRIPPY MOMENT AGAIN

OH EW HE'S SPITTING UP BLOOD

Oh yeah, just scream at the dying man, why don't you? WHILE I SCREAM GOOD ADVICE TO YOU FROM THE BACK.

"..Npo. N-no.." I THINK HE MEANS "YES" ALEX

...IF ANYONE HERE DIES I AM GOING TO FREAK.

FUCK YEAH GALEX MOMENT

...OMG. Can we rewind that please? THEY TOLD JUST HELD HANDS, REALIZED THEY WERE DOING SO QUICKLY LET GO AND THEN GAVE EACH OTHER THESE LOOKS LIKE "...I totally am not into y-HOLY FUCK I CAN'T HIDE I LOVE YOU"

LOLLL Chris getting down on his knee

...Alex, you're making it obvious to Gene now. NOT THAT I MIND.

Despite this ep ending on a bit of a "OG GENE MIGHT GET SENT OF TO PLYMOUTH" it still made me happy with the toasting. I hope that's not odd lol


	12. S2 E4

**A/N: I've updated 3 days in a row. I think it's official that I'm addicted to this show lol**

_...In which I try to use less caps lock. And fail horribly._

Yay, drunk, singing old men! I've always loved it when scenes open up on that sort of thing!

Have I mentioned that I absolutely love Alex's haircut yet? Because I do. SO. MUCH. I want her hair QAQ

And Gene and Alex are sitting together like usual. DAWWW.

Luigi is just like "STFU guys DX"

AW YEAH, BUN FIGHT, GUYS.

...Or not.

You know your colleagues are childish when the restaurant owner needs to tell you to not play with your food.

Pffft, everyone at the table is just like "How can they not see it?"

Gene and Alex are so oblivious to their feelings for each other. It's cute C:

"Something's going on between them." See? _SEE?_

OH EW SOME GUY IS PEEING ON A WALL 8C

Yeah Gene. You push that creeper into the wall.

...Is Gene stalking Alex to the office? That's kind of creepy.

Yet cute. I HAVE MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT THIS.

Lmao, and they just meet each other there. They're like "... Why hello there"

...Wait. What have you been wanting to do for weeks? I mustn't fall for this. No. They are not going to do anything like that, Emily. *tries pull mind out of the gutter* *fails horrible*

LMAO Are they just fixing an air vent?

Jeez, domestic much lol

"So, what now?" Kiss. That would be nice. Reveal your feelingsssss *creepy face*

...THIS SCENE=PRICELESS.

Sleeping Gene+Sleeping Alex+the rest of their colleagues walking in on them=Utter adorableness *resists temptation to use caps lock*

Gene and Alex are like "HAHAHAHAHAHA We totally weren't doing anything last night together, trust us nothing at all, us sleeping here? In Gene's office? Coincidence, yup yup. TOTAL COINCIDENCE."

...Who's this? Jackie you s-WHY IS SHE WHEREING GENE'S COAT.

WTF. I want to wear his coat D: This isn't fair.

"You left it at my flat" Alex:...'SCUSE ME? D8

...Gene got this Jackie chick PREGNANT? You're joking right? I'm watching Alex's heart break into a million pieces right now, Gene. YOU BETTER FIX IT.

"You were VERY drunk, I had to tie a pencil to it" LOL

Even though that totally insulted Gene, I don't care. I NEED A GOOD LAUGH.

"You actually had sex with him " Alex is displeased.

"The little pitter-patter of tiny crocodile boots" I lol'd so hard. Alex is SO getting back at Gene for the pregnancy thing. WATCH YO' BACK, GENE.

"What is this: Slap Gene Day?" No. It's Hug Gene Day 8D *runs to hug him* GEEENNNEEEE~

...I'll bet it was Mack who told h-FUCK YEAH I'M RIGHT.

Whoa, getting a little defensive about the baby, aren't we Gene *creepy face* I wonder whyyy?

...O-o Who the hell are Ray and Chris imitating? It sounds like those stupid English accents people at my school always try and fake.

Jackie's face _screams_: OMGWTFBBQ

"I can smell your hair, Alex" ...Alrighty then. Hello again Mr. Creeper. How are you today? Oh, creeping Alex again? What a surprise!

Why does Alex still have the rose Mr. Creeper gave her? THAT IS JUST AMPLIFYING THE CREEP-FACTOR.

Well, well, well. It appears Alex is not a huge fan of Jackie. I _wonder why_?*rolls eyes*

WHOA THEN. Not exactly the sort of scene I was looking for. Like, ever. At all. Seriously

Holy _crap_, Jackie has a mean head butt there O_o I'm scared of herrr D8

Pfft, Alex is MAD jealous. I'm enjoying watching her rag on Gene lol "I just thought you could've done a bit better, that's all"

I dunno. Is it just me or does this guy look um... Too OLD to actually be messing around with younger girls anymore?

Of course, I could be wrong. I usually am when it comes to cop shows |D

"Or garden gnomes" That was a bit of an odd one, Alex. Yes, garden gnomes. That's certainly a sign for CREEPER activity.

Oh _godammit_, JUST FUCK OFF, MACKINTOSH.

"What's wrong with him?" He's just an asshead, Chris. Every generation, a few chosen ones are born unto us.

"You don't think the guv and DI Drake are..." "what?" "...I can't even say it" LOL Oh, I wish Chris. I really wish.

"Are you shagging my future husband?""Don't be ridiculous! o/o" Oh Alex. You make it too obvious sometimes lol

Oh god, Chris and Ray probably think they're having a threesome in there now XD

...SAM REFERENCE. BRB, CRYING MY EYES OUT QAQ

Jackie's niece looks like a washed up Avril Lavigne

"Our baby" Gene is displeased with this.

OHHHH BURN GENE. BURN.

It appears that right after Alex has found out the Gene didn't sleep with Jackie she's all giggles and snorts... Or whatever, with Jackie. I WONDER WHY

... ;A; There are too many Sam references in this episode.

There's gonna be a trippy moment isn't th-AH, LOOK AT THAT, I was right.

Oh god, Mr. Creepy is calling Alex D8

Well, well, well Gene. It appears you've walked in on Alex in her pyjamas. *creepy face*

Oh shit, that was a girl? I thought they were a guy. |D I am SO thick sometimes.

"Yeah, and I'll hold his hand!... In a manly way" Chris, you're too feminine, I swear lol

...Gene has very blue eyes. They're pretty.

Plot? What plot?

"What can I do for you, Mack?" "Absolutely nothing, Gene." Right then! Fuck off, will you?

Or, you know. Don't.

You ASSHEAD, Mackintosh. You TOTAL. ASSHEAD. I am going to shove a rake so far up your ass you're be able to rake your lawn out of your goddamn mouth D8

WTF THE TV IS BEING TRIPPY

"STOP BLOODY SMOKING!" I love you to death, Alex. I can't believe I used to hate you.

I'll bet you anything Gene's gonna tell Alex to go over first.

OH YEAH, LOOKIT THAT.

That dog is totally gonna eat Chris' face or something. You watch.

...GENE YOU DID NOT JUST SHOOT A DOG.

Alex, I share your reaction.

AND THE PLOT THICKENS, OOOO~

"You're surrounded by armed bastards!" "That bloody woman!" LMAO

You, Mackintosh, just got SERVED. OH.

...NO. NOOOOOO. Washed-Up Avril Lavigne you can't do this! D8

Operation Rose? ...YOU DON'T MEAN THE CREEPER THAT'S BEEN GIVING ALEX ROSES, DO YOU? *mind explodes*

Thank you, Ray, for being our little "ray of sunshine. /end sarcasm

Oh wow. For a moment I thought they were all saying "To Mike". I was like "...Who's Mike?" |D

NO. I WANT YOUR COAT GENE. Please?

And now Gene and Alex are at Luigi's having a drink, alone. Nothing going on, eh Alex? *creepy face*

"No I don't know, tell me." YES. TELL HIM, ALEX. Or go answer the phone I suppose.

What, and it just ENDS?

I AM FRUSTRATED.


	13. S2 E5

A/N: OH YEAH, LOOKIT THAT, BARELY ANY CAPS THIS TIME.

...WAIT A MINUTE

_...In which I hate on Mr. Creepy._

And we open on Alex sleeping. Let's hope she's dreaming about Gene :D Although with my luck, she's probably dreaming about a potato eating her or something.

...There's gonna be a trippy moment on tv, isn't th-KNEW IT.

This duck scares me. A lot.

Since when has Gene had a siren for the Quattro? He's usually too busy knocking down shit to put it up I guess.

What does Alex want nothing to do with?

...OH.

I can see why now lol

"You GIRL." That's not really an insult Gene, it's just stating the obvious :/ "Ah, yup, I do believe you're a girl" "Really now. I never noticed."

Wonderful impression of a mime there, Chris. You should sign up for the fucking circus. You'sd be the highlight act "Random Man Pretends to be a Crap Mime...-Ist... Or whatever it's Called"

...Well I'D see it.

There's that train noise again! WHY DO I KEEP HEARING IT?

"Oh, this is gonna be weird" Like this show isn't weird enough already, Alex.

Alrighty Alex. You're being creepy agaiiinnn.

"She takes her community relations very seriously" LMFAO

But seriously, who is this? I'm confused. Like I usually am when it's the start of an A2A episode lol

"We'll do everything we can, won't we Gene?" Gene's like:...DAMMIT. I can't say no D:

WTF GENE. Don't smile, it's too weird, I'm not used to it D:

What's so important about this kid? Did I miss the memo? Is he related to Alex since his last name is Dra-OMG I GET IT NOW. He's Alex's husbannnddd...

Oh, he ran off then? What an asshead. Hey Alex, I'LL bet you _Gene_ wouldn't run off on you *creepy face*

"No, I said almost" Lol, that tip of her head just made the joke ten times funnier :D

Oh god, Ray just jeeps staring at this chick's breasts, it's amusing me greatly to watch his eyes become wider than dinner plates.

Mel-whosit?

I'm confused AGAIN. WILL IT EVER END?

No. I guess not. QAQ

Whoa. Um. This is interesting. ...Is his face in a _toilet_?

"Are you sick?" "What?" "You only hit him once" LOLLLL

Pfft, they're having a conversation about Chris' crazy aunt while Ray is beating the shit out of a guy in the corner. Ah, good times.

"How come you seem to know so much about me?" SHE'S A CREEPER, PETER. RUN WHILE YOU CAN.

"I want you to know that you WILL cope with this." ...Except that he won't know. Because he's deaf

Homg. Ray is filling out an army recruitment form... I-is he finally leaving? :'D

I'm sorry, but I've seriously never been much of a fan of Ray. He is an asshead most of the time.

George who? Am I supposed to know who he i-OHHH he's dead. Um, that's weird O-o

Alright. That's odd. So basically, there's a not actually dead guy running around smashing people's heads in and stealing their shit? Lovely.

Is Metal-Mickey two words or one? |D Just wondering. Y'know, because that's obviously the IMPORTAN question right now.

Oh Chris. I love you. Not as much as Gene though. Sorry man.

Btw Alex, you still owe me goddamned cake D8 YES I STILL REMEMBER THAT.

OMG IT'S QUEEEN MUSIC*spazzes*

Chris is like "I would appreciate if you didn't blow smoke in my fa-_Or go ahead, do it again_ "

Holy shit, Alex just turned on her bad0-ass mode O-o

Lmao Gene just isn't listening to the guy on the phone. He's just like "...I don't care. I just DON'T CARE. Please stfu. Or don't. Just keep talking I suppose. Whatever... GODDAMIT JUST LEAVE ME ALONE"

"Sure they're all yours?" The other guy's face is the definition of "HAHAHAHAHAHAGAHAHAHAHAHA... ... Oh fuck."

Did Ray run of to go do crossword puzzles by himself? That's weird.

OH WAIT. Never mind, false alarm. He's just continuing his army recruitment form. Sounds like fun. But not really

YAY MORE QUEEN

In a word: ILOVEYOUGENE

Yes, that's technically one word, DON'T JUDGE ME.

Oh god, Mr. Creepy wants to see Alex at Luigi's. DON'T DO IT, ALEX.

"Is that a yes or a no?" It's a yes

This chick is seriously reminding me of River Song. Is that odd?

And by her reminding me of River, I mainly mean by me desperately wanting to punch her in the face.

Oh god lol Chris has replaced his smoking habit with a crisp one as it appears XD

Gene, you're jealous. I can tell. SEE THESE EYES? THEY SEE EVERYTHING. EVEN YOUR HEART.

Bahaha imagine if the car said "GOTCHA THERE, BITCH ;D"

Oh my god, I was actually right. Well, sort of. His was much more polite |D

OMGWTFBBQ WHO'S THIS CREEPER

Oh, it's Mr. Creepy... Somehow I thought he'd be much fatter. And grosser. And have a pedo beard.

...I don't like you, Mr. Creepy. I don't care that you're from the same place Alex is, you seem like an asshead waiting to happen.

Then again, that's what I thought about Gene the first time I saw him :/ ...NO. I REFUSE TO LIKE YOU, MR. CREEPY. REFUSE. OH YES. GET READY FOR THIS.

"Lovely teeth :D" ...Why do his teeth matter? O-o This a new fashion thing? Pretty teeth? "Ah, your teeth are looking lovely today!" "Oh, yours as well!" "Why thank you!" That's probably how dentists greet each other.

"Rearrange the following words: Change, never, leopard, spots." Um, I'll have to say Spots never leopard change, Gene.

"And god forbid I might even have to put a comforting arm around you!" I KNOW YOU WANT TO GENE *creepy face*

So Gene. Catching scum apparently involves you and Alex sitting in a car alone in the dark? Interesting *creepy face again*

Oh look, the River Song look-alike's been hit with a rock! :D It's almost like River get hit with one, right?

"I'd forgotten it did that." ...I don't want to know why, Alex. I really don't.

Alex, you're being creepy again. Just thought I'd let you know. Not that you ever listened to me before D:

OMG. IT WAS PETER. NO WAY.

...The River Song look-alike is technically a MAN?

Ohhhh my Ray. I'll bet you're feeling awkward about staring at her breast now :D

Oh my god lol. The chick just punched Gene in the balls. BRB DYING OF LAUGHTER

Alex looks like she's torn between wanting help Gene up or wanting to punch him as well.

OHHH. So it wasn't Peter... So, he's not an asshead? Is no one really an asshead in this ep? THIS CANNOT BE.

EVEN RAY ISN'T AN ASSHEAD. THIS IS A MIRACLE.

Alex, you're creepin' again.

"...Creep" LOLLLL

*crosses fingers for Galex moment* 8D

FUCK YEAH, THERE WAS.

Oh Alex, you look so proud of yourself lol "Now you have to stay :D"

Oh god, IT'S MR, CREEPY.

SAY NO ALEX, SAY NOOO.

FUCK YEAH

"I think so, Luigi *stares directly at Gene*" FUCK YEAH, MORE GALEX.


	14. S2 E6

**A/N: Have any of you heard the song Peacock by Katy Perry? If you haven't, go listen to it now and imagine Alex singing it to Gene. Many lulz will follow.**

_...In which I muse quite a bit about Chris._

WTF CHICKEN SUIT MAN.

That was an interesting thing to open in on O-o

Lololol this scene is already amusing me :D

Oh god, a trippy moment already Alex? You're on quite a roll today.

...Is Alex wearing a beret?

Gene's just like "HURRY THE FUCK UP D:"

"You know, you really have no poetry in your soul" The more I hear this line, the more I laugh my ass off at it.

YAY FEET C:

"NO, Christopher, I think he tried to drink the entire river for abet and failed." LMFAO

Oh Chris, you're so airheaded.

Dammit Gene, you make me want to quote everything that comes out of your mouth. Why do you so many great lines?

Are cowboy boots like, in? In the 80s y'know? Because EVERYBODY'S WEARING THEM :I

Ffff, of COURSE Gene and Alex are heading off together :D

N-neighbourhood watch, eh? |''D I only have a vague idea as to what that is lol *is thick*

Oh god, poor old man who's all... old ;-; Seeing men like that make me feel really sad, it's weird.

I dunno why, but Gene wearing a sticker REALLY amuses me. Seriously. I can't explain it.

OMG COOKIES

This isn't so much of a pep talk then just a "Let's watch Gene and Alex Banter" presentation lol

"Fat?" Oh god, I take back ME being the thick one here, Chris.

Pfft, they were a little slow on the "Police" thing, weren't they? Heterosexual males *shakes head*

...I feel like I've seen this chick before

OMG SHE WAS IN A DOCTOR WHO EPISODE

AND JESUS CHRIST LADY, COULD YOU HAVE ENOUGH PILLOWS?

"He definitely looked dead" Ray, you are so shit at this it's not even funny.

Ray and Chris are like "...Well um... You just keep sobbing over your dead husband we'll look busy, alright?"

"We might've done something stupid..." Really now? /sarcasm

OH SHUT UP, MR. CREEPY.

Alex and Gene always have such BAMF entrances.

Hey Trevor? Do you ever move your mouth when you speak?

AW YEAH, BRNG OUT THAT STAPLER GENE

Um, Gene? I really don't want to visualize on the toile-FUCK.

That's what I get for following my teachers exactly when they told me to "Visualize words".

Exactly how bad of a word is "tosser"? *is Canadian* |D

Viv is just like "IIII'm gonna go now O-o"

...I just paused at ***Alex making an amusing face *suddenly does not want to press play anymore*

Oh god Chris, NEVER get second thoughts about a wedding. EVER. The girl will rip your balls off to keep you with her.

"Because the little black thingie's up!" You're a genius, Ray

Also, out of context that sounds SO wrong |D

Interesting camera angle here O-o

Oh wow. Mr. Creepy is an asshead D8 Sending Alex dead roses now. HE HAS NO CLASS I TELL YOU. NONE.

"No that's not psychological profiling at all. That's just you... insulting a lady" I love you Alex C:

Aaand once again it's "Let's Watch Alex and Gene Banter the Shit Out of Each Other Time"! :D

Got some bad news for you *cuts to next scene*" Well don't tell me then, that's fine D:

Right, so this Trevor guy is an asshead.

Not that I didn't know that before lol |D Just thought I'd clarify it for those who weren't paying attention.

I hope you're paying attention though. If you're paying so little attention that you couldn't even deduce that Trevor was an asshead I'd be a little worried about you

WTF TRIPPY MOMENT

"Are you drunk, Bolls?" Gene, you read my mind way too often. It scares me.

Did Alex just faint?

FUCK YEAH GALEX MOMENT

THEY HUGGED. _YESSSSSSS_

That honest to god filled me with so much happy I could explode guys, I'm totally serious here.

"When did you have time to get a search warrant?" "*comes out with crowbar*" "*insert Thriller here*" YES. THIS IS MADE OF WIN.

"That'll go down well in court" Have I mentioned that I love you Alex? Because I do. SO. MUCH. *creepy face*

I should make it a rule to have at least one creepy face per episode.

"What do we do now?" "Nick it!" "WE'RE THE POLICE!" LMFAO CHRIS' EXPRESSION

OH GOD IT'S A SEX SCENE

That was NOT what I wanted to see today QAQ

Alex, this moment is not sentimental to me whatsoever because I know you're going to be here for another *counts* 10 or so episodes :/

Oh you've written them something? *creepy face again* Dare I ask what you wrote to Gene?

...I guess I'll never find out ;A;

Luigi' got this expression that's totally screaming "...What're you smoking, woman?"

The wall says "Bill Posters will be Prosecuted". Does that just mean anyone named Bill Posters gets prosecuted or-OHHHH

...Two guys just beat the shit out of Gene and left him out for dead_. I am going to fucking kill them._

...Y'know that sentence REALLY loses its meaning when you accidently write "Krill" instead of "Kill"

"She here?" "No." ...YOU GUYS BARELY EVEN LOOKED AT HER APARTMENT. At least check behind the couch or something before you go "*pokes head in* Nope, not here! :D". Stupid people...

If I were Alex I would've flipped my shit after the broke my tv lol I'd be shit in a horror movie :P

...Gene is caring about Alex. Alex is caring about Gene. I think I know what this calls for guys...

...FUCK YEAH GALEX MOMENT

Sorry Gene, but if Alex is involved you're most definitely not gonna end up alone.

What'd I tell you? *immediately crosses fingers for another Galex moment*

NO ALEX. PLEASE DON'T SHOW THE TAPE.

"You spelt 'fantastic' wrong" Shaz appears to be a grammar Nazi.

Aw, Chris and Shaz made up C:

HOLY SHIT GENE YOU'RE KILL THIS GUY.

Yet this scene is still so amusing.

Pfft, I had the exact same expression as Alex when Gene dropped the car lol

INTENSE MOMENT IS INTENSE

Daw, Alex and Gene are once again sitting together at their own table C:

"Couldn't understand a bloody word of mine" God Chris, I love you.

FUCK YEAH, MORE GALEX

***My Photoshop crashed the first time I tried to upload it there. It couldn't handle the derp of her expression lol

If you want to see the Der p face Alex made that I caught, go here- (remove the spaces) h t t p : / /i286 .photobucket . com / albums/ ll90/ codeyumi /DERPDERPDERP. png


	15. S2 E7

**A/N: If you still haven't done what I told you to do in the last author's note, GO DO IT NOW.**

_...In which I cry for the last 15 minutes of this episode QAQ_

I'll have a biscuit Chris :D As long as it's a pink wafer.

Pink wafers are good.

Okay, so I'll just PRETEND I know what's going on, shall I?

"You'll miss me more than you know." HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU ALEX? You're not going anywhere. 10 more eps, remember?

Although if she WERE to go, we all know that Gene really WOULD miss Alex more than he'd know :D

Big Bear? Baby Bear? What is this, a Goldilocks reunion?

HOMG SOMEONE GOT GENE

And Alex was there to save the day. Fuck yeah.

I wrote fuckl accidently. That should be a new swear word, fuckl.

"...Go on then, say it. "D'you want a hand, mate?" Oh my god Chris. I laughed so hard at that.

And the guy is just spazzing on the ground. Like a llama without a hat.

...Wait...

EVERYTIME the car freezes in the titles sequence I think the video's frozen on me |D

This guy has greasy hair. That is gross.

But this is a dead body. I do believe that is grosser.

"Wear somethin' skimpy" Oh Gene, you horny bastard.

Alrighty then, Alex seems quite fine with the idea of wearing something skimpy for Gene. Iiiinteresting *creepy face*

It's Viv's birthday? HAPPY BIRTHSAY VIIVVVV~ *is extremely late* *by about 2 years*

...I don't want to know why that thing is on his cake.

Oh man, well we know that if Alex is saying something it's gonna be like "I'm leaving but it was cool knowing you guys" Like she seems to be saying for EVERY EPISODE THESE DAYS.

Gene's like "...Does that include me? If it does, you'd better love me the most."

"SOD THE LOT OF YA!" I like that speech more.

"So, skimpy enough?" FUCK YEAH, GALEX.

Father, brother, uncle, highly respected elder, _make up your mind Gene_.

Gene, you completely messed up Shaz's and Chris' hair. I'm sure they appreciate that.

I have a feeling I'm going to be reminding Alex of the 10 episodes fact for the rest of this episode.

ALEX BE CREEPIN' AGAIN.

...Is it just me or does younger!Mr. Creepy have a different accent than the older one?

Holy shit Alex, you're being a bit rude to younger!Mr. Creepy. And by rude I mean you're SMASHING HIM AGAINST THE FUCKING WALL.

Why hello there Mr. Greasy. Please go wash your fucking hair.

Guys. I figured out operation Rose is: They're trying to create a gun the shoots rose petals. IT WILL BE BRILLIANT.

...That's GREAT Chris. Just great. I wasn't aware that your job included finding out the life story of your witnesses.

"Look, I don't care if he's flown around the world with his pet donkey just get his name and address, will you?" This is one of the few times I love Ray lol

If you're not the murderer than why did flip your shit the moment you opened the door?

OMG YES. I JUST PAUSED AT A NEW DERP FACE GUYS.

It's Gene. Lololol it's amazing C:***

ANYWAYS~ *goes back to the intense moment*

Alex, just because you think having no cases to solve does not mean that it's going to make you g back faster 10 EPISODES.

"...You did want them word for word" I'm scared to know what they say D8

Well Alex, that's what you get for putting your number up with a fucking ROSE

Alex, you do know that this will probably just a creepy sleaze and has full intentions of raping you, right? No? |D Okay then.

Oh great. Alex, I don't think this a good ideaaa D:

I sound like her conscious |D "Alex don't do this, don't do that! Go tell Gene you love him!" SHE NEVER LISTENS, DAMMIT.

Nobody listens to their conscious these days. Or those days I guess. Since this is set in the 80s.

..Wtf Younger!Mr. Creepy is here? O-o

Fuck off, Older!Mr. Creepy Nobody likes. Or your face. Or your.. mum. YEAH I WENT THERE.

WTF. I OFFICIALL HATE HIM NOW.

I am upset. Greatly QAQ Seriously, Alex looks like she's gonna cry, it's breaking me heart ;A;

I need to go look at Gene's derp face to make me happy again, 'scuse me.

OH GOD IT'S NOT WORKING.

This is looking bad, this is looking so bad. Oh my, god seriously guys I'm freaking out over here. What if Alex goes to jail? What if the next 10 eps are just of her sitting in a cell? ;A;

Oh shit, the dirt on Alex's white jacket is driving me crazy. She'd better wash that

I'm trying to distract myself from it. It's not working D:

I'm hoping to god that was just some fucked up dream she had.

Alex needs Gene to comfort her. That's the only way to cure this |D *has stupid ways of thinking*

"Who said it was poem?" EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TINKING. RAINBOW CONNECTION AGAIN. FUCK YEAH.

...but I still can't stop freaking out inside for Alex QAQ

...Also, I really hoped she washed her coat.

Oh, phew. Looks like she did. That's one thing to breathe easy about now.

HOLY FUCK HOW DID HE GET HERE

I hate this guy. I hate I hate I hate him IhateIhatehim_Ihatehim_IHATEHIM.

"You want me to believe that this is YOUR colour?" Ray, sometimes I wonder about you sexuality.

GENE BE THE CREEPIN' ONE THIS TIME 'ROUND

Viv is like "...Please stop staring at me O-o"

"I AM NOT WEARIN' A TOP HAT! 8C" As intense as this episodes is getting it's still managing to amuse me lol

FUCK YEAH, TEENY GALEX MOMENT

Sorry if I don' write much, it's just that this episode is getting REALLY intense now D:

Nononono not Chris... I'm gonna cry if it really was Chris.

OMG IT WAS QAQ

Brb, crying my eyes out ;A;

I think what's breaking my heart the most right now is Gene's face. It looks so... I dunno. Hopeless.

I can't think of anything funny to say right now, all I want to do is CRY.

OH GOD FLASHBACKS FROM BEFORE

I'm just gonna continuously cry throughout this episode, aren't I?

I'm dubbing this "The Most Intense A2A Episode EVER"

...Or... For now lol Considering I haven't seen season 3 yet... |'''D

"Let's see what's in here" PORN STASH.

...Or gun stash. Take your pick |''D

I think a porn stash is more interesting though, Just sayin'

_Holy shit_, someone's obsessed with Alex.

I mean, I don't blame them, I am too but I don't post TWENTEY BILLION PICTURES of her on my wall o_O

...Well THAT was extremely creepy.

We ended with a sort of Galex moment. Which made me happy, but still REALLY depressed. If this is how intense the second last episode o series 2 is gonna be then I'm afraid of the last one. BUT I SHALL STAY STRONG. ONWARDSSSSS.

***Go see Gene's derp face here: (remove those spaces, guys!) h t t p: / / i286. Photobucket . com/ albums/ ll90/ codeyumi/ DERPDERP. png


	16. S2 E8

**A/N: I watched the preview for this episode. Apparently there is a chick who claims that she has had romantic involvings with Gene. SHE BETTER NOT *crazy face***

_...In which I am COMPLETELY FUCKED OVER AT THE END._

WTF KALEIDOSCOPE MOMENT

I CANNOT BELIEVE I ACTUALLY SPELT THAT WORD RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY

This exactly what I need to distract me: Gene sitting in the middle of a dark office wearing a bathrobe and reading a book about Alex "And you'd better listen carefully or there'll be tears." :'D

"Thank you, Guv. Another childhood memory, ruined." You know you secretly like it Alex. I know I do *creepy face*

Alex is arguing with tv!Gene. I AM AMUSED.

Yeah, except it's not over, Mr. Surgeon. Because there are still 9 episodes left Why does no one listen to me?

Oh. My. God. I am going to figure out a to transport myself into the tv for the SOLE. PURPOSE. Of punching you in the goddamned face, Mr. Creepy.

"You've only said one word since you came to the hospital, one word. Do you what that is?" Molly. I'll bet it's Molly. BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT MOLLY THESE DA- Ohohoho, Gene you say? *creepy face again*

"Good luck." What s'you mean, 'good luck'? You're ruining her fucking life! "Oh yes, good luck Alex, I dunno why I'm saying that to you though because I am an ASSHEAD |D"

...He covered Alex's desk in rose petals. That is the sign of a creeper, Alex. Whatever you do, don't meet up with him aga- Who the fuck am I kidding, you'll do it anyway :C

Why is this chick clawing at Gene? I do not approve of clawing Gene.

Not that anybody seeks my approval about him anyway |D

EW HANDS.

Oh god, bad memories of watching 127 hours today, guys D8

...Ray just ate a dick. HE ATE A DICK. I AM CRYING OF LAUGHTER YET I WANT TO THROW UP AT THE SAME TIME.

Oh god, and Alex and Gene are just looking at each other like "...Should we tell him?"

I'm questioning Ray's sexuality again lol He actually seems to be enjoying the taste of it.

Pfft, now he's got like, twelve bottles of mouth wash with him "Oh come on Ray. Taking one bite out of a deep-fried penis doesn't make you a bad person" HOMG... CAN'T BREATHE...

Since when has it been a crime to speak a French word?

"You could do with something stiff inside you" Oh you're so tactful with your innuendo, Gene.

He's just sitting there after Alex leaves like "..Shit, did I actually jut say that to her?"

Geez Alex, you're just coming and going into the men's washroom like you own it these days. I hate to break it to you but YOU'RE A WOMAN.

"Y'know this used to be the gents!" SEE? Even Ray shares my opinion. And I don't even like Ray.

Apparently it is France, Ray. Gene's speaking French. According to Alex, saying "moi" is a sign of the apocalypse.

...What's with the random chick? OH WAIT IT'S HER FROM "NEXT TIME"

Oh wait, it WASN'T a penis? THANK GOD.

"I wanna ride with you" Sorry, that seat is reserved for Alex.

Alex does not look impressed with Mr. Kissy-lips lol

"You kissed me" ...You _bitch_. I don't like you at al *squints eyes* At least that Jackie girl a few eps ago grew on me.

...Oh thank god. Nevemind, she's cool.

I hope |D

"Then we're done." I certainly hope so 8C

Whoa, this is getting really trippy O-o All the voices are echoinggggg 8D

...Alex seemed so happy that Gene was happy with her findings. I think this moment calls for a...

FUCK YEAH, GALEX

Ohoho, it appears Alex made a tape about Gene *creepy face*

...King Dong *snorts*

Lmao THEY KEEP SAYING IT 8'D

Okay, so the stuff Alex is saying on the tape PROBABLY isn't going to help her relationship with Gene. Fuck.

"But Hunt must never know-" Know what? WHAT? D8 *angrily shakes computer screen* WHAAAT?

Wait, this COULD have the potential to turn into a Galex moment *crosses fingers*

"...I'm from the future" Alex, this is NOT the time to be completely honest with Gene.

"Get out of my sight, inspector" *bursts into tears* BUT SHE LOVES YOU GENE, SHE LOVES YOU TOO ;A;

I have to go look at Gene's derp face, I'm getting so. Fucking. Depressed.

It didn't work. I'm just crying more QAQ

I had stop watching for five minutes, my heart is dying right now. My shipping heart lol

...I think I need to go draw some Gene/Alex fluff or something, watching this is just... GUH.

Aw, the Shaz/Chris moment cheered me up a bit though :'D

"She hates this place and she hates me." No she doesn't! Well, at least I know she doesn't hate you.

Fuck, Philip Glenister is so good of an actor. His facial expression, body movements EVERYTHING IS TOO AMAZING. I can feel Gene's sense of betrayal in my heart D8

"I think I heard her name being mentioned" I take everything I said about you being okay back you bitch D8

Bahaha, poor Luigi XD He's so pissed.

Ray, I can't believe I'm saying this, but for the first time ever I'd rather take your side than Gene's.

...God I can't believe I just said that *shivers*

"First Sam Tyler and then you" Sam... I MISS SAM QAQ Stop making me cry, Gene.

"I thought we had a connection!" "We do!" Oh my god. Her voice there. IT'S KILLING ME.

This is turning from "Read while Emily makes really random and witty comments" to "Read while Emily continuously breaks down and cries"

Oh EW. Mr. Creepy is in Alex's room. Haven't you cause enough fucking damage, you asshead?

"He cares about me!" Oh thank god you haven't given up yet, Alex :'D

...Don't you dare Gene. Don't you dare take the bitch on a date.

HOLY FUCK THEY DID NOT JUST KISS.

I was literally left looking like this "D8" I NEED A BIGGER 'D' FOR MY MOUTH

This is getting seriously intense guys. NO TIME TO PAUSE FOR A DERP FACE.

This is getting too intense to commentate. I'm not kidding.

Fufufu, they have panty-hosing on their faces :D

Mr. Creepy is in on this. WHAT A SURPRISE -_-

"Who are you?" "Police" "Oh, thank god!" "*shoots him*" I wouldn't thank god for that one, actually.

C'MON GENE, HIT THE BASTARD WITH YOUR CAR.

FUCK YEAH.

Unfortunately, no Galex could accompany that phrase.

"You're nicked" I fucking love you, Shaz.

HOMG ALEX JUST GOT SHOT IN THE STOMACH.

OMG

OMGOMGOMG

I KNOW IT'S BAD BUT I REALLY FUKING WANT A GALLEX MOMENT RIGHT NOW

WTF

I AM SO CONFUSED

...Isn't there another season?

WHAT

IS

GOING

ON.

I demand an explanation.

WTF, GENE IS ON THE TV

WTFWTFWTF

WTF.

SERIOUSLY. WTF.


	17. S3 E1

**A/N: I-I can't stop watching this show XD**

_...In which I really want to fucking kill Keats_

"My name is Alex Drake. And quite frankly, you guess is as good as mine" Oh god, what a lovely way to start the episode lol

OMG IT'S THE TRIPPY VIEW FROM EPISODE 1

Why hullo there trippy view. How are you today? Good, good. Me? Oh, same old. I like Alex much more now, yes. How are the kids?

"And are you dreaming about him? *insert opera music and Gene Hunt chasing someone in a car" OMGWTFBBQ

"Because it's not as real as the one I left" This is seriously reminding me of the ending for LoM. Ooo, I wonder how Alex is going to get back to Gene's world? :D

Oh shit, thought the person talking to Alex was a man until they showed. Looks like they were a woman |D

OMG KINGS OF LEON

That "Legal Force" movie looks awesome lol

Gene is in hiding? WHY?

"Wake up! Wake up and..." AND SMELL THE MOMOSA.

...Or help him |D

"I couldn't get grapes, so I get... A melon" LMFAO

And then he drops it. Nice Chris.

S-Shaz and Chris aren't together anymore? ;A;

"You don't don't know me but I'VE READ ALL ABOUT YOU 8D" He scares me ;A;

I love how what really got Alex moving was GENE :D

WTF THIS GUY HAS HAVE HIS FACE MISSING EWWW

Alex is like "I just WOKE UP, dammit"

What... What happened to Alex's pretty hair? ;A;

OhohoHO, getting VERYYY close to Alex, aren't we Gene? *creepy face*

FUCK YEAH, GALEX

"BUGGER ME SIDEWAYS" "*hits with purse*" BRB DYING OF LAUGHTER

Is bugger a bad word as well? |D

"Bloody hell" I would take a look at your hair before make any other judgments, Chris.

BTW that scene wa seriously badass. I mean, Sweet Dreams playing in the background with Gene and Alex strolling around? FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.

...Ray is _D-FUCKING-I_?

AND HE'S WEARING A _SUIT_? *faints*

This is too much lol

"Rhetorical" No he was definitely English" God I love you Chris.

FUCK, GENE DERP FACE *immediately saves it***

"Ray if you ever come in here looking like a math teacher again, I will paint your balls brown and tell the squirrels winter's comin'" BEST. LINE. EVER.

Ooo, a VCR :D Is it weird that I like VCR cassettes more than DVDs?

Because I do |D

Yo, has anyone noticed that Alex's and Chris' hairstyles are freakishly alike?

It's really weird lol

Jim Keats? This is him?

...Sorry I just imagined him a bit more... Intimidating *snorts*  
I'M SORRY BUT HE LOOKS LIKE A TOTAL NERD LOL

Oh SHUT THE FUCK UP, KEATS. God you talk too much.

FUCK YEAH, ANOTHER DERP FACE

It's a Keats one guys. I shall draw a moustache on it as well to amuse you all some more.**

You know what Keats? Why don't you go fuck off to Spain?

"I'm here to help, Alex." Yeah fucking right.

ALEX, HE'S LYING THROUGH HIS WELL-GROOMED TEETH

Ew, there's the guy with half his face D8

Alex wrote down Gene in big letters, and I half-expected her to draw a big heart next to it lol

"Any ideas?" "Fifty grand... In a cloth bag... Behind some hammers." Thank you, for that brilliant insight there Chris.

Gene just admitted he missed Alex :D I SMELL A GALEX FANFICTION.

"No. Course not. _Shit._" Bahaha, I think I might actually like Ray a bit more this series.

So, what? It took about *counts 32 episodes for him to finally grow on me? Brilliant.

That was the most confusing conversation I've ever heard lol "I'M NOT HERE!"

Alex is like "Despite the fact that I'm angry at you I still feel compelled to follow you around anyway"

OH EW HE LOOKS GROSS

Grosser than the half-aced man, anyway.

"Maybe it's to help me" Don't flatter yourself, Keats.

Pfft, Gene is playing with a banana.

FUCK THAT SOUNDED WRONG

Once again, not helping with his sexuality lol

Is it just me or is Alex REALLY tall O-o

...Either that or this lady is just really short lol

"Um I'm gonna attach a microphone to your *freezes*" Oh wow Chris lmao

PFFT Gene looks like total creeper here.

So in the 80s instead of white pedo vans they had blue pedo vans, eh?

INTENSE MOMENT IS INTENSE, GUYS

Geez, there's always some guy WHEEZING in the background of these ransom videos. YOU. IN THE BACK. STFU.

"Well they put the telly on for her, that's nice." Always gotta find that silver lining, eh Chris?

"We have a gym?" Pfft, nice Gene.

I would say something really mean here but I love Gene too much for that lol

Sorry Alex, but I have NO fucking clue what you're talking about either |''D

"Warrant, Shmarrant, JUST DO IT!" Ah, reminds me of the crowbar. Good times.

"police!" Yes, I think we got that Chris.

"He's not wearing any clothes!" What is this, Captain Obvious Day?

"Where do we find this Christ?" Oh god. Chris, you're very Christian, are you?

"A please wouldn't kill you?" I don't think that now is the time to teaching proper etiquette, Alex.

Under Pressure? This is an oddly fitting song |D

It just occurred to me that they probably put that song in for THAT reason lol

Oh wow, when Chris first said chips I thought he meant the food |D

WHOA, trippy drop-off much O-o It's very Inception-like.

I hear voicesssss D8

"Try and take up a few hobbies like basket weaving or gang rape" Those are two COMPLETELY different things. One of them is frowned upon. IT'S NOT THE BASKET WEAVING.

"Sometimes you can't help whch way you fall" I smell a parrellellll~ 8D

In case you're wondering, I meant Gene and Alex X|D

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS. I HATE YOU. AND YOUR FACE. AND YOUR... MUM.

If I were there I would grab the bottle and smash it on his head screaming "FINE I WON'T GIVE YOU THE FUCKING SILENT TREATMENT, I'LL GIVE THE REALLY FUCKING LOUD ONE, ASSHEAD"

"I hate you." Oh. Guess what Keats? _I don't give a fuck._

Why did Keats close the blinds? MUST BE SURPRIS BUTTSEX TIME FOR GENE AGAIN.

OH GOD IT'S SAM.

Eewww, It's Mr. Half-Face again D:

I hate Keats. I HATE HIM.

I watched the "Next Time". IT'S LOOKING INTENSE GUYS.

*** Go see Gene's new but not so improved derp face here- (remove spacessss) h t tp :/ /i286. photobucket. com/ albums/ ll90 / codeyumi / DERP. Png

**Go see Keats moustachified derp face here- h t t p :/i286. photobucket. com /albums/ll90/codeyumi/


	18. S3 E2

**A/N: I have a feeling I'm going to mainly be screaming at Keats for this episode. Prepare yourselves.**

_...In which I cannot stop laughing at the song Uptown Girl_

OMGWTFBBQ

I'm sorry. My reaction to the opening scene. OMG. Brb, dying of llaughter.

Btw, I fucking love this song. I shall be singing it for the rest of my life now while imagining Gene lip-syncing it.

Does this count as Galex? I'm going to say YES.

I seriously cannot stop laughing. I WANT THIS MOMENT TO LAST FOREVER.

Alex is probably thinking to herself "...Wtf was _I_ on last night? O-o"

Bahaha, and now they're listening to Uptown Girl in the office :'D

Alex is like "...Dude, this song was in my dream last night. Whaaaat?"

Of COURSE the first person she would look at would be Gene lol

Oh right, it's because of Sam's file. Dammit *pouts in corner*

What're you lookin' at?" "Nothing *flashback of Gene singing Uptown Girl*" Oh Alex. You know that you love him.

I'll never be able to look at Gene the same way though lol

"6620" BUM BUM BUUUUUM.

YAY NEW TITLES SEQUENCE *dances around*

Oh ewww, Keats is in it now? FUCK YOU, KEATS.

Shaz looks like she wants to murder the guy working with the hammer.

Daw, Chris is being a good guy. Albeit a bit cheesy lol "Love. Look it up."

Yayyy, Gene and Alex banter. I THRIVE OFF IT C8

Whoa mood swings much, Shaz?

"Looks like you got your handjob after all, mate" It's so wrong, yet so funny.

Why do all the wrong but funny jokes have something to do with Ray?

But anyway: EW HAND.

Yeah Keats. It's not your case. SO FUCK OFF 8C

Oh god, Sam reference QAQ

Keats interviewing office looks like a set off of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's so... Dark and medievally O-o Not the Nerd-dom I was expecting lol

"The males create large balls from to attract mates. The bigger the balls-"*desperately tries to not laugh at the tv* *fails miserably*

Oh my, I'm so immature.

WTF TRIPPY MOMENT

"MURDER!" Yes, yes we hear you Shaz. You only said it twenty times.

Chris is wearing a full suit. It's weird D:

At least Ray isn't wearing one anymore |D THAT was weird.

"You're a scummy sort of guy, Ray." Thank you for speaking the truth, Alex.

"Art galleries? O-o" Yeah, I can't see Ray hanging around at an art gallery either, Chris.

I can't pay full attention to what they're because f this guy whistling I the back. STFU MAN.

"Canary boy, stop that whistling or I'll rip your lips off!" See? EVEN GENE IS ANNOYED.

OHOHOHO, getting a little close to Alex, aren't we Gene? *creepy face*

GALEX. GALEX EVERYWHERE.

"Could've got bus *pushed against the car window* Could've happily got the bus!" LMAO

Oh Alex. You should be used to Gene's completely reckless driving by now.

OH FUCK OFF KEATS. SERIOUSLY.

Gene is so protective about Alex, it's cute :3

"Steady on, mate. She's been dead for two years." Oh my god, I fucking love you Chris.

Gene was being a total creeper in the window and the receptionist was just like "...wtf? O-o"

"I'm looking for love. You got any?" I CAN'T BREATHE. OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU GENE.

"What'd you put?" "Steak 'n chips" Oh Gene. You're so blunt.

This scene is amusing me so much. I'm not kidding C:

"And I've told you more than once, Bolly. Nelson Mandela IS a terrorist." My face hurts from grinning so much.

...What just happened? Didn't that place just lead to nowhere a moment ago?

I AM CONFUZZLED. THIS HAS NOT HAPPENED FOR AWHILE, HASN'T IT.

"Ray? Please shut up" THANK YOU ALEX.

"Is this strictly necessary?" "No, but it's bloody good fun though!" Pfft, men *rolls eyes*

Oh EW DEAD BODY

Gene only got one reply. I'm torn between laughing at him and feeling bad.

I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy the speed-dating scene lol

"And now he's only married to his job" But we know who he'd like to be married to noooow *creepy face*

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS.

Oh my god, he's a got a tie clip and everything. God, he's such a NERD.

And do you want to know what I think Keats? I think you're an ASSHEAD.

Oh god, poor Gene lol

"Probably my bottom" Ray eyes look like they're gonna pop out of his sockets XD

FUCK. OFF. KEATS "My name is and blah blah blah blah!" FUCK YOU.

"LUIGI IF YOU DON'T RING THAT BLOODY BELL I WILL RING IT FOR YOU" Oh my god. I can't stop laughing. That chick's like, draped herself all over Gene.

LMAO THEY'RE PLAYING STRIP POKER

No Shaz, you can do it!

Or I guess not D:

DON'T JUMP

I've been watching this show for weeks now and I only just realized that they're in England |D

Pfft, they're playing the Uptown Girl thing again. It never fails to amuse me.

FUCK OFF KEATS.

Shaz is actually resigning? ;A;

BUT SHE WAS SO AWESOMMMME

THAT PACKAGE BETTER HAVE THAT CAKE YOU OWE ME STILL, ALEX

It didn't have my cake.

I am displeased

"I AM young you rude git!" This is ep is full of the best lines lol Alex owns.

I want to go hug Shaz D: She looks so helpless.

Oh be quiet Ray. Nobody wants to hear about your romantic escapades right now.

Or ever, really

INTENSE MOMENT IS INTENSE

You could cut the tension with a herring |D *is shot for vague Monty Python reference*

"What a scumbag" I agree Alex. I so agree.

Though I wish you were talking about Keats |D

He is MUCH more of a scumbag, trust me Alex. HE IS THE SCUM OF THE EARTH.

This guy is a total PEDO. He scares me D:

Oh yes. An abandoned place under the bridge. That's not suspicious AT ALL

"Women need warmth" OH GOD HE'S GONNA TRY AND RAPE SHAZ, ISN'T HE? D8

"She was a slut" Well that was nice of you -_-

HOMG THIS IS GETTING SO INTENSE

OH EW SHE JUST STABBED HIM WITH A SCREWDRIVER EWEWEW

Aw, Gene is comforting Shaz. It's sad but kind of sweet at the same time D:

Omg Ray just said something NICE *faints*

...Okay I'M CONFUSED. It was happy and then suddenly everything went black and they were playing Life On Mars D8

OH FUCK OFF KEATS

I AM GOING TO DRAW ON YOUR FACE AGAIN

THERE***

Aaaand, Slow mo Gene time! :D

WTF GENE JUST KISSED THE DATING SERVICE LADY

Alex has got her jealous face on.

"Uptown girl, downtown man" Is Alex finally catching on that she likes him?

I shouldn't hope too soon lol

WTF TRIPPY MOMENT

***Go see Keat's new and dare I say improved face here- (I think you all know to remove the spaces by now, right? XD) h t tp :/ . com/albums/ll90/codeyumi/DORK. png


	19. S3 E3

**A/N: In case you're wondering why I've started to update so frequently, it's because I'll be going away on Saturday meaning I want to try and end the series by Friday. Let's see if I make it |D**

_...In which I am scared of the multiple pedo smiles in this episode_

Keats is leaving? FUCK YEAH.

Lmao the cheese plate looks so random "Care for something cheesy, sir?" Chris said that so randomly lol

What, he's staying? I think this calls for a...

FUCK OFF KEATS

Oh yes, just take some cheese anyway. IT WAS A PARTING GIFT YOU IDIOT.

YAY FIRE

I mean... Oh no. Fire.

I hope it lights Keats up. Literally.

NO RAY DON'T GO IN FIRE

Or... Go in. Take your pick.

Goddamit, titles sequence. Always... Sequencing it up. Or something. WHATEVER.

Oh shut up, Keats. If anything, it's your fault? .

"Should I give him mouth to mouth... That's a no then" LMAO even when it's a crisis Ray is still a dickwad.

"Bit crispy, but okay" You sound like you're talking about food, not a person Chris.

Sorry Keats but your attempt to look badass is failing. Horribly

WHOA MOHAWK MUCH

Jeez, looks like they just dragged in any sort of suspicious punk rocker, not anarchists lol

"It's only smoke inhalation" Yeah, ONLY.

OH FUCK OFF KEATS

You and your tie clip. And nerd glasses.

They're playing sad music. Why are they playing sad music? D:

Wait, so it's not just Alex who's having weird trippy moments as well now? Shaz is too?

WTF IS HAPPENING MAN.

Keats, if you don't shut up I'm going to shove one of those bikes so far up your ass you'll be able to ring the bloody bell from your nose.

Pfft, Gene you're just jealous that Alex is talking about YOU.

Geez Gene, what's with you monitoring Luigi's calls all of sudden?

YEAHHHH, ELECTION '83

You excited? I'm excited. SO YOU BETTER BE AS WELL.

"Y'know these fires." No, Ray. I never noticed them. Nope, not all. Including the huge one YOU RAN INTO.

OH FUCK OFF KEATS

Um... You're not serious are you? He's like, 8.

They're playing the serious music, which they're ACTUALLY being serious ಠ_ಠ

Well... I'm glad Alex at least agrees with me.

"What's your bra-size" Gene looked over like "I'D LIKE TO KNOW TOO, ALEX C8"

"OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE. That's my bra-size" Alex _owns_.

Okay so he was 12. I was close.

By like, 4 years |D

Oh GREAT. Keats is going to try wheedle some information out of Chris. JUST STFU, KEATS. STFU.

Ewww, Keats just did a pedo smile D:

AW YEAH AANOTHER BADASS ENTRANCE WITH GENE AND ALEX.

Oh hahahaha yourself Keats 8C You think you're SOOOO funny, don't you? YOU'RE NOT.

Keats, are you gay? You're actually REALLY gay around Ray. It's weird D:

"Join you? Is that what you're saying?" Ray sounds like he's really saying "I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole, you bastard."

It was the FIREMAN? O-o

I thought firemen usually y'know... Put OUT fires. Not set them |D

SHUT. UP. KEATS. From now, I am going to mock everything you say in my head with a muppet voice.

Touching moment is touching :D

"Can we talk about last night?" NO WE CAN'T 8C

Can I have a coffee too Alex? 8D

Actually, I should just stop asking you for things. You still owe me that damn cake :C

Ray, you're sounding like a heartless bastard right now, you do know that right?

"it's not" BUM BUM BUUUUUM.

I think that music would've been more appropriate, personally.

"I just want my husband back" Well I want a cake from Alex sill, and look where that got me. It's the LAST SERIES.

FUCK OFF, KEATS.

THANK YOU.

"You been putting crap in his office again?" "Yeah." Wait, he's been doing this for awhile now? I love you even more now, Gene.

Well at least apologise, Gene.

Or... Don't ಠ_ಠ

Hm, so it WASN'T the fireman. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO THINK ANYMORE QAQ

YEAH, OU BETTER FUCK OFF, KEATS

Sam reference ;A; Brb crying again.

Why yes, I do cry at every single Sam reference.

I-I just miss hiiimmm QAQ

What's with all the weird stars and the numbers? I JUST WANT TO KNOWWW

You could cut the tension here with a blunt pineapple.

Ohhh, the slow moving camera on Alex means that she's going to realize something vital!

Orrr, there's gonna be a trippy moment ಠ_ಠ

Oh EW it's Mr. Half-Face! D:

Go away! Awaaayyyy! Your face is gross D:

That was a REALLY creepy moment.

Just pointing out the obvious there for you all |D

You're welcome |D

OH FUCK OFF KEATS

You're not cool. At all. Seriously. Go away. I don't like your face. Or your mum. Remember?

Or just _stay_

Wait, who just called? I'm confused. Was I supposed to hear that? Because I didn't. I feel so deaf D:

Oh, okay. So Alex is telling us. Good, because I'm like, half deaf.

As you may have noticed |D

Also, I have accent impaired ears.

Pfft, I thought Alex's lamp was a jug. I am also apparently half BLIND |D

Oooo, a suspicious package. Is it finally my cake? 8'D

Ew. I hope not. If it is, that would be one shitty cake.

"D'you know I hate being right sometimes." Seriously? You? Gene Hunt? Doesn't like being right? Blasphemy.

Ohhh, so it was the BROTHER. That makes sense. Sort of.

AW YEAH FIRE UP THE QUATTRO, GUYS

...I sound like a dork saying that XD

Note to self: Never try to sound badass ever again

Ray is opening a tin. Are there sardines in it? :D

No there aren't. Awww D: It's just EVIDENCE, boo .3.

Oh wait... |D

Well that's lovely picture. Two happy people and a downer. WHAT MUST I DO TO PLEASE YOU?

FFF INTENSE MOMENT IS INTENSE

"I'm not the bloody Avon lady" Lolllll

Ray looks so betrayed D: I actually feel bad for him. WEIRD.

LOLOLOL I JUST PAUSED AT A CREEPY PEDO FACE FOR RAY***

I feel like his pedo face ruined the intense scene |D

How many times do I have to tell you to fuck off, Keats?

"Well opposites attract, Shaz" You _would_ know this, Alex *creepy face*

"Well maybe not attractive. Kind of... Fond of in a funny way *staring right at Gene*" I-I think she's finally starting to realize it! :'D

...Wtf that was weird. AGAIN with the happy moment the trippy black background Life on Mars playing in the background O-o

Will it ever end?

*** Go see Ray's pedo face here- h t t p :/ /i286. photobucket. com/albums/ll90/codeyumi/PEDOFACE. png


	20. S3 E4

**A/N: I had a drem last night where Alex and Gene kissed and I woke up cheering, then almost cried when I realized it wasn't real ;A;**

_...In which I am infuriated by the almost kiss of life_

Aw, look, a little child! :D And he's playing with his teeny car, how ni-HOLY FUCK GENE COULD YOU DRIVE ANY GODDAMN FASTER?

"I'm not drunk! *driving wildly everywhere*" Ahem, sure Gene. Whatever you say.

Well that was rather anti-climatic O-o

She just came and went. *is shot for bad Torchwood reference*

"Look, you're annoyed" Thank you, Alex, for that terrific insight into the mind of Gene Hunt

YAY TITLES SEQUENCE

Yeah, fuck you, phones. NOBODY LIKES YOU. OR YOUR MUM.

I'd say their face as well, but phones don't HAVE a face, silly.

"Bollocks!" What a lovely way to start a speech, Gene.

That'll stir everyone's hearts.

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS

I hate you more than phones, Keats. That much. Yeah. I said it. I went there.

"Rome wasn't built in a day, Gene." I beg to differ, Keats. Have you seen the Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood trailer? No? WATCH IT AND LEARN.

Shhh, I know that he hasn't seen it. I'm just trying to be more right than him. Why? Because he's an asshead, duh.

FUCK YEAH, SPEEDING QUATTRO SCENE

Well that was the shortest speeding Quattro scene ever.

This old just tried to be impressive and intimidating when got up. It failed. Oh so horrible.

Well he gave up quick O-o

"Did he just say-" LMAO

I dunno, Gene. Even though he's cripple I think I'd find it a little difficult to have a heart after he tells me "Nice tits"

...Chris' shirt has floral print on it. FLORAL print. He was SO the girl of the relationship when he and Shaz were still together lol

Aw, poor Chris, he really does want to get back together with Shaz. I want that toooo ;A;

WHY THE FUCK ARE THERE TRAIN NOISES. THERE ISN'T ANY TRAIN.

And now there's creepy stalkerish graffiti. Great.

This show loves messing with you.

This probably means we'll be seeing Mr. Half-face again soon.

Apparently he's actually good, so I shall try and keep an open mind about him next time I see him. Though I will probably fail horribly.

Yes Gene, just judge the mannequins, won't you? What have they ever done to you? Killed your mum?

What is with creepy men trying to flatter Alex today?

She's like, an old man magnet. Or a creeper magnet, since Keats is so goddamn into her.

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS.

"She says she'll only speak to you two. God knows why." Maybe because you're a creeper?

OH EWWWW SHE'S COVERED IN BLOOD

I thought her bloody handkerchief was a heart |D

"How bad does it look?" Awful. Almost as bad as Mr. Half-face

Or... Okay |D Whatever you say, Alex.

Yeah, there IS no female version of balls, Chris. Unless you're talking about ovaries. Which I somehow doubt.

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS

I love how Keats is trying to be the good guy but they're playing creeper music in the background that just makes you go "PEDO ALERT"

"...Twat." You know what Ray? You're a twat. I dunno if that's bad, but I sure as fuck hope it is.

Um... Alex wrote "Gene/Sam" on her notebook. I wasn't aware she was a fan of slash |D

OOOO, IT'S THE STATIC OF DOOOOOMMM~

OH FUCK IT'S MR. HALF-FACE

I-I mean... H-h-hullo Mr. Half-Face D: ...Your face scares me *hides behind couch*

Alex be creepin' Gene's office

Oh hut up Ray. I SEE YUR ULTERIOR MOTIVES TO GET INTO HER PANTS

OH FUCK OFF KEATS

...Orrr just cozy up to Alex. If you get one inch closer to her I will punch your goddamn nerd glasses off your- FUCK HE'S NOT WEARING THEM. Fine, I'll just punch you, shall I?

"It's the early bird that bags the bastard." I'm SO saying that from now on. No one will get it, but I'll still feel cool saying it.

No one will get it because none of my real life friends watch this show ;-;

"Is that a garden?" "YES. Why?" "*shows sign*" AND THEN IT'S ON THE NEWS LMAO

Excuse me while I go die of laughter.

Watch Louise just order a pizza instead lol

"Do I look like a slice of toast?" "...No O-o" I'm confused as well, Alex. Dn't worry. Gene makes really odd metaphors at times.

PFFT I JUST PAYSED AT AN AWESOME GENE FACE***

It looks a cross between him smil and wanting to murder someone lol

Fufufufu Gene only smacked this guy down once he mentioned somebody doing Alex behind his back

"You want to make a deal, don't you?" Aaaand, welcome back to "Let's Make a Deal!: Copper Version!"

DON'T DO IT. He's lying through his badly groomed teeth!

SHIT I stopped paying attention to Louise's and Chris' conversation because of the song that came on |D I get distracted wayyyy too easily lol

AW YEAH, BATMAN REFERENCE

Chris is badass mode. I've never seen Chris in badass mode before It's weird D:

Oh god, he raped her? That's awful D:

But HOMG CHRIS BEATING THE SHIT OUT HIM GUHHHH IT HURTS MY STOMACH

I doubt that made any sense |D

Ergh, but seriously. He just beat the shit out of him. It looked painful.

I-I just realized that Louise has this huge stitch on the side of her forehead, durrhurr |D

God, first not knowing it was set in London, now not noticing HUGE ASS SCARS on people's faces... What next? I'll bet you I'll find out that Gene is really a woman.

...He...He isn't, is he? That's not his secret, is it?

HOLY FUCK ALEX JUST GOT DRUGGED.

That's the SECOND time, mind you. Alex certainly knows how to get herself caught

Gene better save her again. It would mean more Galex. I LIKE GALEX C8

FUCK OFF, KEATS

"I'm sorry, I thought you said no," HE DID. Are you fucking deaf?

"When they realize what you really are" He's a womannnnnnnn

Whuuuut? Is Alex in a coffin? O-o

Ohhh, okay it's just a trippy dream.

YAY GENE IS COMING TO HER RESCUE C:

Give her the kiss of life, Gene *creepy face*

YES. YESYESYES-FUCK YOU SCREENWRITERS. FUCK YOU.

OMG. THEY WERE THAT CLOSE. THAT. FUCKING. CLOSE.

EXCUSE THE CAPS, I'M JUST REALLY FCKING ANNOYED.

GRAHHHHHHHHH *loses it*

EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO COMPOSE MYSELF.

...

...

IT'S NOT WORKING. FUCK.

Oh, _shut the fuck up, Keats_. I'm still wallowing in despair over here ;A;

Pfft, and Gene just steals the guy's cookie.

"Alright Bools. Don't want to shoot you again *sees Keats* Him on the other hand..." Gene, if you shot Keats it would make up for the whole not kissing Alex thing. Just saying.

"If anything moves, whack it" LMFAOOOOO

Pfft, Ray just apologized to the mannequin

FUCK. :I

It's getting so intense D:

"'course I knew you'd be a beacon of sensitivity" Oh Alex. I love you XD

As much of an ass Keats is, he DID just do a good thing.

...God I feel like throwing up after saying that DX

EW MR. H- I mean. Hi. *hides behind couch again*

***Go see Gene's awesome face here: http: . com/albums/ll90/codeyumi/SURPRISEBUTTSEXFACE. png


	21. S3 E5

**A/N: I CAN PRACTICALLY TASTE THE LAST EPISODE**

_...In which I re-name Litton and Evan. They're much better names now, trust me._

There'd better be some Galex in this episode to ease the pain of there being no kiss from last episode ;A;

OhohoHO Gene, calling Sam stylish now, are we? *wiggles eyebrows*

AND seductive?

And people say you don't have a thing for Sam *creepy grin*

No, don't wake up, Aleeeexxx D8 I want to see more Sam! *misses him*

Why the hell are Ray and Chris practicing the moonwalk? O-o

EW PORN

"Not shooting, Bolls? Right, let's go run him over." Yes, because running someone over is exactly the thing to do, Gene. Even better than kicking the door down.

And they just keep kicking the guy while having a conversation. Lovely.

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS

"Don't like to show it off" You're showing it right now, you idiot.

Pfft, Ray and the other guy saying "Bastard" at the exact same time.

Yes I am indeed pointing out the obvious things, why do you ask?

He got her from Awesomeland, where the awesome people are made Litton.

Or Lipton. I'm not really sure to be honest |D

No I don't capiche. You're talking too damn slow for me.

"Don't make this easy for Keats, he's not stupid." I beg to differ, Alex. In my books, Keats is incredibly stupid. Have you seen his hair?

Yes, I am well aware of the fact that hair has nothing to do with stupidity. I JUT HATE HIS ASS.

See, this is why I hate Ray. He's a leecher

Does poof mean gay? I am definitely not aware of British slang.

Oh god, I hope that isn't too bad of a word lol

These guys are twats.

I'm not sure what a twat is, but I know it's bad.

Keats so wants that porn. You can see it in eyes. They scream for it.

OMGWTFBBQ IT'S JACKIE TYLER FROM DOCTOR ROSE'S MUM HOMG SHE'S A SLUT

Sorry. It just took me by surprise. As in, the equal to surprise buttsex.

"Premium filth" eh Gene? You know this how?

FUCK YEAH, BADASS ALEX

I think I was right from last time, Alex DOES attract creepers.

Jeezus, this guy's got his own posse. What a douche.

Man, everybody has it out for this nerdy looking guy today.

Ewww, blood D:

IF GENE GETS SHOT I WILL PUNCH MY FRIEND REID IN THE FACE

This asshead thinks he's so damn cool. But I find it really hard for him to be intimidating because of the hairy caterpillar under his goddamn nose.

"Yeah it's just..." It's just you're a twat, is all.

"Fat bastard"? I dunno ma, he wa pretty dinky. More like "Dinky twig" if anything.

Why hullo there Mr. Cassette recorder. I haven't seen you since Sam forced it upon everyone in Life on Mars.

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS

Keats is totally creeping on Alex D:

They're even playing creeper music. This will not end well.

"You been to that tranny bar again?" Oh my god, I love you so hard, Chris.

You want to know where I think YOU'RE from Mr Twat? Twat-town. That's where you're from. Wanna know why? 'CUZ YOU'RE A TWAT.

Ewww, Mr. Twat just did a pedo smile D: *hides behind couch*

Hey, speaking of couches, we haven't seen Mr. Half-Face for awhile, have we? :D

...I probably just jinxed myself |D

"You think I'm scared of that chinless bastard?" OH MY GOD GENE. YOU'RE RIGHT. Keats really doesn't have a chin! D:

Oh god, ancient fax machine XD

Actually I have no idea if that's a fax machine lmao I' that young apparently. I don't even know what a fax machine looks like.

...In fact I don't even know if there WERE fax machines back then |D

Alex looks like a deer caught in the headlights lol She's like "...FUCK FUCK FUCK"

What is with Mr. And Mrs. Twat here using different languages when they want to say "Understand"? Doesn't that sort of defeat the purpose of the word?

OH. His name is Evan. Not Mrs. Twat lol |D

That's too bad, I rather liked calling him Mrs. Twat.

You know what? I think I'm just gonna keep calling him that anyway. It's more interesting than EVAN.

OOO MR. TWAT BE CREEPIN'

Mrs. Twat has very noticeable moobs.

Now Alex is creeping outside of Gene's office. I am not surprised in the slightest *creepy face*

"What if he's NOT dead?" "...I think you'll find his" That's not what Gene meant, Chris XD

FUCK YEAH, AWESOME PEPPY 80S MUSIC

Mr. Twat is practically shitting himself now. Take that, you asshead.

"Look at us; like Sapphire and Steel. I am HIM, and you are... HER." Thank you for clearing that last bit up for us, Gene.

I really don't want to view Gene as bad guy but... He's making it really fucking hard because he's using a CROWBAR TO GET INTO ALEX'S DESK GODDAMMIT.

"Why does Gene Hunt get you so excited?" Oh wouldn't you like to know, Mr. Twat...

Gene just burned Sam's jacket... *goes off to mourn its loss in a corner*

WTF there are those stars again! WHAT DO THEY MEEAAANNN?

YEAHHH, KEEP THE FAITH RAY. Keep the faith.

Ooo, it's getting intense again!

I love it. The intenseness. I LIIIVE OFF OF IT.

Oh yes, just choke the man, won't you Mr. Twat?

Because killing old people is so fun! :D

I'm joking, obviously.

I hope you knew that O-o

LMAO THE OLD GUY'S GOT A WIG 8'D

Ohoho, so Mr. Twat suddenly wants to co-operate now?

That's rather nice of him o3o

So, they're talking about beating the shit out of an old man and then the scene cuts to a laughing crowd. This isn't helping to set the mood.

DUDE WTF THERE IS CREEPY COP PUPPET LAUGHING

It's really scarryyyyyy D8 *hides behind couch again*

What... Are Shaz, Chris and Ray wearing exactly? O-o And WHY?

...Do I even want to know?

Oh my god. Chris is dancing. Excuse me while I go die of laughter.

This suit the old guy's got looks like the skin of Edward Cullen.

Tjose aren't the Blues Brothers, you liar D8

Aw, Ray, you can do it!

Wait... I'm cheering on Ray, wtf.

Touching moment is touching :'D

"But there is one thing I want." She wants you, Gene. YOU.

Touching moment has been slightly ruined by impending doom D:

What... BUT I WANT TO KNOW THE TRUTH TOO. WTF.

I AM ENRAGED.

...Oh |D That's what it was lol

Yay more dancing from Chris C:

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS

Oh Alex. I know you love Gene.


	22. S3 E6

_...In which I shit my pants after seeing Mr. Half-Face_

Aw, Alex is sleeping. Let's hope she's dreaming about Gene THIS time.

OOOO Close up on the tv that isn't workingggg! Spoookkyyyyy~

But not really.

Somebody's whistling. Who whistles these days, seriously?

WHISTLING IS FOR PANSIES

Homg wher'd the football come from?

...Oh yeah... T-the corner *hides in shame* |D

It appears that Alex wants to know where it from as well.

Wait... Was that a dream?

I guess so since she's wearing a slightly different outfit.

Speaking of which, Alex's wardrobe seems to have gotten another revamp this series. And her hair. With the little poof at the top.

So Alex. You're got time to get a whole new wardrobe and hairstyle but NOT my cake?

I'll pretend I understand what's going on.

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS.

Nobody likes you. Or your goddamn tie clip.

Rape is a very strong word Gene *nods seriously*

FUCK that saying is usually meant for the word "hate", isn't it? |D

So Viv needs a word, eh? Does he have a problem this episode? Will this episode be focusing on his problem?

I'll bet. I have noticed a re-occurring them here you guys. I'm not that thick. After Ray and Shaz have their episodes, they start seeing the stars as well. I'll bet you anything if this episode focuses on Viv he'll start seeing them next.

NOT SO THICK NOW, EH YOU GUYS? *does pelvic thrust of victory*

Orrrr I could be completely wrong lol

"Sounds like a ponce" What the fuck is a ponce? Am I even spelling that right?

I finally learned what 'twat' means though. And poof. That's good |D

Keats, you are once again failing to look badass. You're TOO GODDAMN NERDY FOR IT. JUST GIVE UP.

Jesus Christ, how is Gene not getting hit by any of the bricks? If I were him I would've gotten smacked in the head with one before I'd even gotten there. I'm THAT disoriented.

HOLY SHIT. Gene's got his "I am going fuck you up so bad if you don't stop this shit" face on.

Alex, you're worried about Gene. Just admit it.

Or just continue to look lonesome and thoughtful. That works as well.

Oh dear. It appears that Viv is completely fucked.

Also, the head prisoner has moobs.

That is all.

"His name's Jason Stgkjgh" is what I heard. I can't tell what his last name is. So let's just call him Mr. Moobs.

Oh shut the fuck up, Keats. We get it. You're trying to take Gene down. But you DO know that people make these things called 'mistakes', right?

Ohhhh. So it was Keats who was whistling, huh?

Whistling is for pansies, Keats.

This makes you a pansy.

I am forever going to call you Mr. Pansy.

Mr. Pansy, STOP FUCKING TRYING TO LOOK COOL. HOW MANY TIMES MUST I TELL YOU.

"You might want to do this *presses the on button*" LMFAO I love you, Shaz

Oh dear. It appears that Mr. Moobs has a fun.

I MEANT GUN LOL

Having fun is good. Guns are not.

"Have to leave something for people to remember you by" And you shall forever be remembered as Mr. Moobs. You're welcome, asshead.

I think I know what he needs, Alex. A swift kick to the nuts.

Mr. Pansy is talking and everyone just flat out ignores him. FUCK YEAH.

NO BALL FOR YOU, MR. PANSY

No Alex. Don't tell Mr. Pansy. I don't CARE if Gene is covering shit up, he's good guy. I know he issss.

I HAVE FAITH IN HIM, BRO.

Taking off your glasses will not make you anymore attractive, Mr. Pansy.

"This man" has a fucking name you know.

"I'm coming with you" FUCK YEAH, GAL- Gene you just ruined that.

Alex is creeping in Gene's office. I am displeased

"Oh I've got two, mine and some other's I ate earlier." I shouldn't laugh at that. But I did anyway lol

My hoping that everything will work out in the end for Gene and Alex's relationship is dying slowly QAQ

My heart is breaking watching their relationship crumble ;A;

I can`t believe I used to hate Galex lol Now it`s like... PART OF MY SOUL, MAN

Mr. Pansy is so lonely he has to play cards by himself. That`s what you get for being an ASSHEAD.

Aw,. Everyone fell asleep at the office :D they really care about Viv.

EW BLOODY TOOTH

At least we haven`t seen Mr. Half-Face for awhile.

HE SHOWS UP LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER I SAY THAT. WOW.

"What are trying to tell me?"He wants your brainssssssss, Alex.

OH FUCK OFF, MR. PANSY

The fuck is up with Mr. Conman here?

It appears that he is a huge fan of Life on mars.

Whoaaaa trippy dream, much, Alex.

Well at least _acknowledge_ Shaz.

Or don't.

"And you had a face transplant?" I love you so much, Alex lol

"Excuse me, I haven't finished." Guess what Mr. Pansy? Nobody gives a fuck :I

"My reputation preceds me." I liked it more when Gene said that in first episode, not Mr. Pansy saying it now.

Why yes I do indeed frequently memorize random lines that Gene says, why do you ask?

I-I'm not a creeper! *hides behind couch*

I am annoyed with Mr. Pansy. So I drew on his face again***

Oh shut up, Not-Sam. Alex I too badass to fall for you tricks.

AW YEAH CHRIS. YOU ROCK THOSE NERDY GLASSES.

...Mr. Moobs is sniffing Ray. That's really creepy O-o

Homg, Viv looks almost dead D:

I fail to see how he's in on this.

What is this, beat up Gene's self-esteem day?

He looks like a goddamn kicked puppy you guys D:

Omg. Viv really WAS in on it D8

Alex and Gene are co-operating again 8'D *does pelvic thrust of victory again*

"Can you tell her I love her" QAQ *goes to sob in a corner*

Oh god Ray. That cheered me up :'D

FUCK FUCK FUCK THIS IS GETTING INTENSE

Watch there be like, a banana or something in the box lol

Yayyy, Galex co-operation! :D

Mr. Pansy STILL cannot look badass, even with a lead pipe. There is no hope for him.

Holy shit, Alex just went badass again.

...I'm getting a really bad feeling about this.

...I think Viv is gonna die. Because of Mr. Pansy. Because he's got a fucking LEAD PIPE and whistling creepily, and we all know that those are the signs of a fucking murderer.

Fuck that was a weird scene O-o I'm not really sure what happened...

FUCK OFF, MR. PANSY

Brb, crying my eyes out

HOLY FUCK IT'S MR. FACE AGAIN. GAH, HE'S ALWAYS SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF MEEEE

...And it just ends?

This only means one thing...

I MUST GO WATCH THE NEXT EPISODE. RIGHT NOW.

*** Go see Mr. Pansy's face here- h t tp :/i286. photobucket. com/albums/ll90/codeyumi/PANSY. png


	23. S3 E7

**A/N: One more ep you guys!**

_...In which I abuse the keyboard at the end. I'M SURE YOU ALL KNOW WHY._

Ooo, stars! And... Chruch music.

Interesting combo there.

OH GOD NEVERMIND IT'S VIV'S FUNERAL BAD MEMORIES GOD I'M GONNA GO CRY NOW

Gene and Alex are standing next to each other. _Fuck yeah_.

Mr. Pansy, I don't think you deserve to be here at all D8

What the hell is so funny, Chris, huh? As much as I love you, you're being an ass right now.

WTF TRIPPY MOMENT

Gene is so upset QAQ It makes me upset as well.

"Where's Bolly?" OhohoHO, need Alex to help cheer you up, eh? Gene *creepy face*

And of course Alex is working. What else is new?

OH FUCK OFF, MR. PANSY

Alex is standing up for Gene. FUCK YEAH.

"We're the same, you and me." It's 'you and _I_', Mr. Pansy. If you want to at least SOUND threatening, use some proper grammar.

Also, if Alex were anything like you I'd throw myself out the window right now.

FUCK YEAH ALEX. You _get_ pissed at Mr. Pansy!

I think Alex would prefer Gene to herself, and not for you, Mr. Pansy.

Brooding Gene is brooding.

Alex should give him a hug. I would appreciate that.

I mean, Gene would as well lol It's just if Alex hugged him as well I'd be happy C:

"Let's have dinner, together" Excuse me while I go cry of happiness.

Do you want to know how much my heart leapt from hearing that? A LOT.

"What, a date?" "Yeah, I suppose so." SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES SAY YES

"Alright, you're on" FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *does pelvic thrust of victory*

I am floating on a happy cloud right now :'D

OH FUCK OFF, MR. PANSY

You and your goddamn Merlin-esque office. And tie clip.

What's in box, huh Mr. Pansy? I'LL BET IT'S YOUR SECRET PORN

Wtf I think I'm right lol

EW PEDO SMILE

What's up with the music in the background? lol

EW DEAD BODY

Gene is taking Viv's death HARD QAQ

Oh fuck off, Mr. Pansy.

You and your porn stash.

"Other guv" lmfao I love you Chris

I keep getting distracted during the intense moments with the knowledge that Gene and Alex are GOING ON A DATE GUYS 8D

What a perfect excuse "I was in the bathroom". I'm gonna use that for everything now.

I can just see everyone at the bar going "Right! So, we've killed him. And yeah alright that's bad. So to cover it up, we were all in the bathroom, kay?" "...But... We don't have a bathroom, sir-" "DON'T QUESTION MY LOGIC, DAMMIT'

"They put wires in his penis" TOO MUCH INFORMATION, MAN

Lmao what are these guys doing? They're acting like 8 year olds.

And Gene walks in like the BAMF he is. FUCK YEAH.

And then all the guys on the floor are like "FUCKFUCKFUCK WE WEREN'T DOING ANYTHING"

"He's in the denial!" "Denial? Isn't that a river in Egypt?" ...It took me like, 5 minutes to understand that lol |D

"I know what you're doing" Alex, have you been creeping again?

...Um, I'll pretend I understood all the words that just came out of Alex's mouth |D

So, what? You were in the bathroom and you had a massive nosebleed?

What the hell is up with the creepy laughing?

And the sudden Shaz/Ray moment? O-O

Chris WOULD walk in on that lol

Ew, that was a creepy moment D:

Not as creepy as the Keats and Viv dying thing. THAT was fucking weird.

OH FUCK OFF, MR. PANSY

Fuck yeah, badass Gene.

Then again, he's always badass C:

Dawww, Alex just smiled indirectly at Gene. FUCK YEAH, GALEX

It's been so long since I've said that QAQ

God I love Gene's pout. I really do.

Is that... Is that weird? :'D

OH FUCK OFF, MR. PANSY

No you cannot borrow Alex. I won't let you 8C

Because you are a twat.

Oh great. Mr. Pansy's Merlin knock-off office.

No Alex. Don't ask him at DINNER. You'll ruin it D8

Excuse me while I go squee in a separate room.

THIS MOMENT. LOVE IT SO MUCH. GUHHH

Just... Watching them get ready for their date. It makes me happy inside C:

Lmao, Gene puts on cologne then takes this huge drink of whisky 8'D

Pfft, he's SO DAMN CUTE. I swear to god. He can't tie a bowtie and then he's just like "...Fuck it"

Do you want to know how big my grin is?

|-| -about that big lol

Mr. Pansy' secret is out: All of his porn involves Shaz, Ray and Chris.

I love you Luigi lol He's like "You're on date. NANANANA."

THE FUCK IS ALEX WEARING

Someone dressed up lol

She's wearing that goddamn coat again. Also, there's opera music playing in the background.

Gene's like "...FUCKFUCKFUCK MUST MAKE MYSELF LOOK MORE PRESENTABLE"

*crosses fingers for buckets of Galex*

*is not disappointed*

THE ELEPHANT IS THAT YOU TWO ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER

Goddamn, you ruined the moment, Alex 8C

Lmao he said "dork"

SMOKING KILLSSSSS

"Well he's not quite as annoying as it happens" Oh Gene, you kidder, you C:

"Just the bill, please, Luigi." NO. YOU'VE RUINED MY HAPPY, ALEX QAQ

I 'm depressed now ;A;

They're playing happy music. WHY ARE THEY PLAY-OMG I SEE WHY C8

"Guv, got something for you" "So has DI Drake and I think hers is gonna be a lot more interesting." FUCK. YEAH. GALEX.

THAT IS ALL.

OH FUCK OFF, MR. PANSY

You've ruined my happy, Mr. Pansy 8C

Oh god, it's Alex's goddamn coat again I can't take her seriously in it. I just can't.

"Oh shut your face, you racist GIT!" Fuck yeah, badass Alex.

Since when has Chris been known as the caped crusader? Lol

He LET HIM GO? O-o

INTENSE MOMENT IN INTENSE

GUHHHH

And I think I'll go PUNCH YOU IN THE GODDAMN FACE KEATS

Look, I'm annoyed with you I stopped using your nickname.

Fff it's a typewriter

GOD I hate you, Keats.

Yeahhh, you tell the little kid off, Chris.

It appears Alex has changed clothes o3o

*crosses fingers for Galex moment*

"I don't care what Jim Keats thinks" Because you care about ALEX thinks, du-HOLY FUCK HE ACTUALLY DOES

FUCK YEAH, GALEX

Yo Gene, don't leave Chris hanging there.

AW YEAH, MAN HUG TIME

THEY HUG. BUT IN A MANLY WAY.

Dude... They keep having the trippy moments. WHAT DOES IT MEANNNN?

Who's knocking at Alex's door? *crosses fingers for Gene*

FUCK YEAH

*crosses fingers for Galex moment*

...Um. Okay Luigi. You just be happy over your dead cousin then O-o

"Let's have a dance" Yes. DANCE FOR MEEEE~

Do want to know how big my grin is again? IT'S FUCKING HUGE. MY FACE CAN'T HOLD IT ANYMORE.

OH MY GOD.

I'M GOING TO PUNCH MY FRIEND REID.

I'M GOING TO.

SERIOUSLY

THEY WERE LIKE ONE. GODDAMN. MILIMETER. AWAY. GHFDYSRDFHJF JUSDTHC TFcvhjgeqgtghl/qry eqgtghl/qry

I CAN'T COMPOSE MYSELF

NOTHIN WILL MAKE ME COMPOSE MYSELF

Ihfhjcdbgkj. 2gp

gkjcgasdvjkvga

Okay. So I think I managed to compose myself.

Somehow.

It took about 20 minutes though lol

...Did Alex just say "Wait in the bedroom"?

YOU KILLED THE MOOD KEATS

WHAT TH- ALEX YOU DICK

You promised Gene you'd be back you ASSHEAD

GDHSDMTGHFRKH

And now I have to wait for tomorrow to watch the last ep. Fuck. My. Life.


	24. S3 E8

**A/N: I don't want this show to end ;A;**

**Btw, about the "punching my friend Reid" thing: I told my friend Reid that if Alex and Gene don't kiss I'm going to punch him in the face XD**

_...In which there's really nothing to be said._

If they replay the almost kiss I'm going to-HFDYGHFUHJDG GH THEY DID

CFGDJGF

It's not even a minute in and I'm already losing it. This is not good.

Wtf is up with Alex's dream?

HOMG IT'S SAM.

By the way (again XD) sorry if I use a lot of caps lock this time around. I most likely will because it's the LAST EPISODE YOU GUYS AHHHHHH

Alex's looks really pretty with her messed up hair C:

Seriously, I like it more than her actual combed down with a poof version.

Fuck yeah, Tainted Love is playing.

I'm getting this feeling it's going to be VERY awkward when Alex and Gene see each other. I'm probably wrong though |D I'm ALWAYS wrong with my assumptions when it comes to this show lol

EW BLOOD

Lots of it too D: *hides behind couch*

GUH poor Gene, he seems really hurt that Alex just ran off on him last night.

"Don't think I'll ever eat breakfast again..." Lmfao Thank you for brightening me up slightly, Chris.

Gene is upset that he was cockblocked last night. I don't blame him.

We all know Gene is agitated when he wants 7 sugars instead of 5

OH FUCK OFF, KEATS

YOU FUCKING COCKBLOCK

FUCK YOU

FHSDMDFMHGDFHMFH

Oh yes, just go twisting her mind, shall you?

Stop touching her face. STOP IT.

I hate you so goddamn much, Keats.

The serious conversation here is breaking my heart. It's in fucking pieces. I'm not kidding. The only thing to heal my heart will be if they kiss *creepy face*

I'm not paying attention to anything Ray is saying because I'm too distracted by the guy in back playing a pipe.

It's amusing 8D

Ray does not seem amused. Instead he's clutching his throat. I am disappointed in him being unamused

They're playing serious music again, FUCK.

FUCKFUCKFUCK THEY KEEP FIGHTING GODAMMIT

"You're just a hindrance" Excuse me while I go sob in a corner.

Why hello there Keat's porn. How are you today?

"What's this, your packed lunch?" LMFAO

What, now GENE'S having trippy tv moments as well? O-o

Keats wants them to watch their own porn. That's weird.

Well well well. It appears that even after Gene and Alex's fight, Gene is still chasing after her. What an interesting development *creepy face*

AW YEAH, YOU BREAK THAT DOOR DOWN RAY

Oh EWWWWWW

She is most definitely dead D8 *hides behind couch*

Watching this scene makes me really realize how much Shaz, Ray and Chris have grown as police investigators :'D

Trippyyyyyyy momentttt D:

And it doesn't even PHASE Alex. She's got balls of steel.

...Oh wait...

Why hullo there Mr. Scarecrow.

You scare me.

Like most of things on this show |D

OH EW IT'S MR. HALF-FACE'S JACKET

I'm rather impressed that Alex managed to find this place based on a photo lol

Gene is creeping on Alex. This is an interesting turn of events.

Considering Alex is usually the creeper.

And Gene the Creep-...Eee...Or something.

FUCK Gene scared m there. He just came out of nowhere O-o

...That sounded dirty |D

Oh Gene. I know you'd never be able to shoot Alex :P

EW DEAD BODY

That's not ACTUALLY Sam... Is it? D:

FDGHFHJ SEEING ALEX CRY MAKES ME WANT TO CRY

What's on the paper? I want to knooowwwwww~

Gene has this face that's screaming "...FML"

...Um... What just happened?

Why hullo there Union Jacks o3o

Confession time! :D

Don't you love confession time? I do.

Waiiittttt. My brain hurts from trying to understand this so let me try and get it straight: this Mr. Half-Face... Is the YOUNGER Gene? Because that's what I'm getting here.

FTUFJFF IT'S SO CONFUSING

Okay so here's what I'm getting: Gene is dead. He lives in some sort of weird heaven-like thing but not really heaven that's meant for police officers, and he helps them all out? Also, Keats is still a twat.

Fuck you, Keats. FUCK. YOU.

I don't CARE that Gene is a selfish bastard ghost man. It may not have occurred to you, but I think he might be a little LONELY, you know?

No Keats. Let's NOT listen to this. SHUT THE FUCK UP KEATS I HATE YOU

HDJUHFTUFKGFKHFFGKHFHFHFHJf

I AM FINDING IT DIFFICULT TO COMPOSE MYSELF AGAIN

I am also finding it difficult to talk about anything EXCEPT how much I hate Keats.

Because he is a twat.

"Yeah, Who needs the guv, eh?" Alex doessss ;A;

OMG

Ray died by HANGING himself? QAQ

And that's why he was tugging at his collar when he heard that guy playing the piiipppeee, OHHHHHHH.

Lmao, nice shades, Chris :P

C-Chrisssss ;A; He died because he got shot like 7 billion times.

Yes. That many times. DON'T QUESTION ME.

Ooo, Greenday mu-HOLY FUCK SHE JUAST GOT STABBED

OMG THAT'S WHY SHE SPAZZED OVER THE SCREWDRIVER EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE NOW AHHH MY HEAD

So um... Obviously that WASN'T Keat's secret stash of porn then |D

YOU ASSHEAD KEATS.

OMG

I HATE YOU

I DIDN'T KNOW I COULD SOMEONE THIS MUCH BUT HERE WE ARE

AHHHH YOU ASS I HATE YOU

And Alex is just so upset over Gene QAQ My heart can't take this.

You see how Keats is raging right here? THAT'S HOW I FEEL ON THE INSIDE.

Well, minus the crazy laughing, obviously.

Instead it's more like me screaming about how much I want to rip Keats apart limb by limb.

Ooo, pretty sky :D

I CAN SHOW YOU THE WORLDDDDD, SHINING SHIMMERING, SPLENDIIIID~

Eveyone in the room is like "...The fuuuck?"

Whoa, calm down Keats. Somebody took their happy pills today O-o

This. Is. So. Intense.

JFJFFMKFHFHK

SERIOUSLY.

And seeing Gene beaten on the ground like a kicked puppy makes me want to smash my screen and somehow appear in the show and give him a hug ;A;

"I'm not leaving him. Not like this." FUCK YEAH, GALEX

I hate Keats. In case you hadn't noticed.

"You looked good though." "I was dressed as a prostitute" "My point." Even when he's beaten and bloody he's still awesome.

"My real name is Nigel Perkins" "..." "No I'm joking, it's Gene Hunt" Shit. I started laughing and then I started crying.

They're playing the "This is intense shit" music. Therefore, THIS IS INTENSE SHIT YOU GUYS

You can do it, Gene :D

FUCK YEAH, GALEX

"Are you armed bastards?" I love it when he says that.

By the way, this scene is fucking awesome.

Shaz just kicked the guy right in the nuts. I love her.

RIP Quattro QAQ

I'm sorry but... The music choice... LMFAO IT'S TOO CHEESY

"I'M ARRESTING YOU FOR MURDERING MY CAR!" Oh my god Gene. I love. I love you so damn much.

Cameo time!

FFFFF This is so cute :3 Shaz/Chris ftw C:

EW IT'S KEATS

I thought we were done with you D8

YES. BADASS GENE MOMENT

You just got SERVED Keats

Noooooo I want Alex to stay D'8

God I am so close to crying.

FUCK IT I AM CRYING ALL OVER MY KEYBOARD

AHHHHH THEY KISSED

AHHHH

MY HEART

IT'S STILL BREAKING BECAUSE SHE'S LEAVING

AHHHHHH

Keats totally just ruined the moment

FUCK I WANT ALEX BACK

AHHHHH

Goddammit I can't stop crying

"Where's my iphone?" Even that can't cheer me up.

...And it's over.

Oh my god.

It's over.

All I have to say is...

That was the most brilliant and amazing tv show I've ever seen.

But I still want Alex back QAQ

*immediately runs off to find AU fanfiction where she stayed and Gene and her live happily ever after helping others pass on*

**A/N: I liked this more than Life on Mars, it was that good QAQ GOD IT WAS SO. DAMN. SAD.**

**Thank you all for sticking through with me to the end.**

**Seriously guys C:**


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